Dr. Ciara Kelly

won't be bad who will support you because you can build it like you don't have to go straight for the juggler of telling your wife or your husband you could you know find solid and if you don't have a trusted person tell someone like your good self a psychotherapist go and speak to somebody because this is a story we've all heard yeah no absolutely like a lot of times sure i mean the most important thing we can all do is here is tell

I also think secrets and covert thoughts are amplified and take on a power.

So you think that they're a bigger thing and a bigger deal than they actually are.

So you think saying I am gay is going to blow the world apart where actually someone else is going to hear you say I am gay and kind of go, OK, what's that like to say?

Good for you.

It's not going to be the explosion that you might think it is.

And I think we amplify our fear, amplifies all those things.

We catastrophize.

We think of the worst case scenario.

It's going to everything's going to go to shit.

That's particularly nowadays extremely unlikely.

He felt unburdened.

He said he was terrified because he was still in the interview, but he said, the fear is gone.

I think shining a light on things is always good.

Shame is one of the tools that we don't talk about.

And we might talk about that in another pod too.

Shame is one of the tools that we use against ourselves, that society uses against people.

It is a tool of control.

And women are shamed all the time, particularly for their sexuality.

I don't mean being gay.