Dr. Colman Noctor

There's a thing called narcissistic borderline personality disorder.

Right, that's in the DSM thing.

Yeah, and that would be an absolute kind of drive for controlling other people, having very little sense of guilt or remorse around anything that you do, being completely self-obsessed with power and control.

Narcissists are usually quite charismatic.

They're not people that would be

that you would obviously see, but they cause carnage in the relationships in their lives.

But somebody who breaks up with you isn't a narcissist.

Do you know what I mean?

And again... And it could be, but just because they break up with you, they're not a narcissist.

And I would see young people use those terms and say, he's a real narcissist.

And I would ask them to explain to me

what makes them make that claim.

And there's nothing to back that up from the point of view of any sort of claim that this person has done anything other than not facilitate what they wanted in their lives.

And like your boss,

asking you to do some work or stay late is not a narcissist because he's putting the company's needs before yours.

But a lot of it, so the gaslighting, the narcissist trauma, traumatic, you know, that trigger, oh my God, like trigger was a word.

Oh, like trigger was such a useful word in our field.

Do you know what I mean?

To talk about, say, so trigger is like an event that happens in the here and now that it brings up all of the experiences of a quite traumatic, it's a feature of PTSD, post-traumatic stress disorder.

So say, for example,