Dr. Corinne Low

You derive meaning from the time that you spend with her and from seeing her be better off, right?

Right.

So I think understanding that you can be productive through…

care labor through helping people, right?

And that that care labor can be particularly meaningful because it produces this dual value of value for the person we're caring for while also serving our values.

Yeah.

100% to all of that.

And I also, I'll say before we get into the what do we do about it piece of it, that's why when I talk about utility, I say you can't actually equate utility and happiness because sometimes we do things that absolutely do not feel happy or joyful, but they serve our values.

They're meaningful.

So on this book tour, I was really glad it brought me to a stop where

I have an aunt who has dementia who I haven't seen for a long time and I, you know, got to spend an afternoon with her and, you know, it might be the last time that I get to see her.

And I spent that time crying and telling her stories and telling her that I loved her and

if you were looking from the outside and you said, if I think of utility as happiness, I would be like, this obviously doesn't look like happiness or joy.

And that's my problem with, there's a lot of pressure on us to maximize happiness and be happy and joyful and live a life that has more happiness.

And I'm not sure that that's the goal, right?

And so that's why I think utility is a useful term because

What you are doing when you bring your kids to your mom, you're making meaning with them, right?

You're serving your values.

You're teaching them values.

You're making meaning for your mom that you know is in her utility function and that then shows up in your utility function because you value that.