Dr. David Burns

superior technique and then the other thing is if you're going to be using this at least to get couples started um you you you also ask them uh individually uh like i would say to you matt would you be willing would well first would the two of you be willing to do homework between now and next week practicing this Hello.

superior technique and then the other thing is if you're going to be using this at least to get couples started um you you you also ask them uh individually uh like i would say to you matt would you be willing would well first would the two of you be willing to do homework between now and next week practicing this Hello.

Yes. OK. And by the way, your two sounds are so one is so loud and the other is so dim. I hope Josh can can can correct that. But the then let's assume that you've decided on a time. And we won't go through that negotiation right now just to save time. But let's say you're going to do it every evening at 6 o'clock from 6 to 6.15.

Yes. OK. And by the way, your two sounds are so one is so loud and the other is so dim. I hope Josh can can can correct that. But the then let's assume that you've decided on a time. And we won't go through that negotiation right now just to save time. But let's say you're going to do it every evening at 6 o'clock from 6 to 6.15.

And so then I would say to you, Matt, and you're going to do it every night, Monday through Friday, from 6 to 6.15. And you're going to go into your library. The kids are not allowed to come in. The TV is off, the radio is off and stereo is off or whatever. And you're no alcohol and you're going to sit in two chairs facing each other and do this exercise. Do you agree to do that, Matt?

And so then I would say to you, Matt, and you're going to do it every night, Monday through Friday, from 6 to 6.15. And you're going to go into your library. The kids are not allowed to come in. The TV is off, the radio is off and stereo is off or whatever. And you're no alcohol and you're going to sit in two chairs facing each other and do this exercise. Do you agree to do that, Matt?

And do you agree to do that, Rhonda? I do. I do. Okay. And now, Matt, I want to know, do you agree to do that if Rhonda refuses to come? In other words, do you agree to go into that room and sit down and you can bring a book and read it or something, but you'll wait even if Rhonda doesn't cooperate?

And do you agree to do that, Rhonda? I do. I do. Okay. And now, Matt, I want to know, do you agree to do that if Rhonda refuses to come? In other words, do you agree to go into that room and sit down and you can bring a book and read it or something, but you'll wait even if Rhonda doesn't cooperate?

Okay, so I take it you're not willing to do that. Is that correct, Matt? And then I think I'm going to withdraw the assignment and stop doing the couples therapy. And is there anything else I can help you with?

Okay, so I take it you're not willing to do that. Is that correct, Matt? And then I think I'm going to withdraw the assignment and stop doing the couples therapy. And is there anything else I can help you with?

Yeah, because this is agreement between you and me, Matt. This is not an agreement between you and Rhonda. Do you understand that, Matt?

Yeah, because this is agreement between you and me, Matt. This is not an agreement between you and Rhonda. Do you understand that, Matt?

And if you don't do that, you're telling David that you want to drop out of therapy. Is that clear?

And if you don't do that, you're telling David that you want to drop out of therapy. Is that clear?

And Rhonda. Now, Rhonda, do you agree to go and sit in the library from 6 to 6.15 every evening, even if Matt stubbornly refuses to show up?

And Rhonda. Now, Rhonda, do you agree to go and sit in the library from 6 to 6.15 every evening, even if Matt stubbornly refuses to show up?

I do.

I do.

Okay. That's great. And that's how I set up the homework so they can't sabotage it and blame the other person.

Okay. That's great. And that's how I set up the homework so they can't sabotage it and blame the other person.