Dr. David Burns

Right. And then why is that thought unfair? Not only distorted, but unfair.

Yes, uh-huh. And why is an unrealistic standard unfair?

Yeah, but what's the impact of believing something that's untrue? Um...

Okay. Well, that's okay. That's fine. And we could go through all ten dispersions, but we probably have enough ammunition here already. Now, we could start out with one of two techniques, the externalization of voices, which is a very aggressive technique.

Or the double standard technique, which is a little gentler technique, and then we could start with that and then go into externalization of voices for crunch time.

Let's do that. Okay. Let's imagine that I am a friend of yours. We'll do the double standard technique in a role play format.

And give me a name, not a current friend, but just say someone, you know, who's not one of your real friends, but this would be a friend.

Corey, I'm Corey. And let's say that I look like you. I have all of your strengths. I have all of your weaknesses. I grew up in a similar home as you. In fact, I'm like a clone of yours or a long-lost identical twin. And I want to see how you would talk to me. So I have all your strengths. I have all your weaknesses. I got all the grades you got in school. I dropped out of school. I went back.

I've got this podcast that I'm doing, but I'm a dear friend and a different person. Could I talk to you for a minute, Joshua?

You know, I have this problem. I just wanted to see what you think. I've been working really hard on my life and my podcast and my career and my coaching, and a lot of things are coming along pretty well for me, but I would really like to find... my partner, my mate, someone to share my life with, and I want to find love, and I'm telling myself that I'm just not attractive, not attractive enough.

What do you think?

Okay. Now, that helps me a little bit, but let me ask you this question now, Joshua, because I really want to believe what you just said, but I want to find out, are you being honest with me, or are you just blowing smoke in my face and trying to cheer me up with some fake crap?

Oh, really? Yeah. Okay, so if that is true for me, and I look exactly like you, would that be true for you as well? Yes. Okay. Was that helpful to you? Yes, it was helpful. Okay. And right now, how much do you believe I'm not attractive? On the zero to 100, what your real belief is.

Oh, great. That's good. Now we'll crank into the more aggressive thing. Okay. And this time, your name is Joshua, and you know what my name is? What's that?

Joshua.

And one of us will be the negative Joshua and one will be the positive Joshua.

And you can start out in either role that you want.

Yeah. OK, great. Oh, this is wonderful. Yeah. And I'm glad we're recording this because you can listen to the recording later. So you're you're going to be the negative one. Yes. OK, so you speak in the second person, you. And I'll speak in the first-person eye. Well, let me just try it the other way around first. I'm going to be the negative Joshua, and you be the positive Joshua.

And I want you to see if you can defeat me. Then we'll do a role reversal.

That sounds great. Could I talk to you for a minute, Joshua?