Dr. David Burns

You know who I am.

that negative voice in your brain. And I didn't want to upset you or anything because I know you're having a lot of fun with that con artist, Dr. Burns. But I just wanted to tell you that you should just face the truth. I'm talking now about the ultimate truth. You're just not attractive.

I didn't mean to hurt your feelings or anything, but that's the, as the Buddha said so many years ago, that's the effing truth about you.

Okay. Who won that?

Okay, big or small?

Okay, great, I agree. I thought it was excellent, but it's not yet huge, and we're going to keep doing role reversals until we get to huge. Now, either this time you'll attack me, and when you respond with externalization of voices, there's three main strategies you can use, although you can throw in any technique, actually. But one is self-defense, which is what you used.

Another is called the acceptance paradox, where you win by finding truth in the statement. And the third is called the cat or counterattack technique. And you were hinting at that. Actually, that's where you attack that voice in your head. And then another technique you can use is one called be specific, where you transform vague criticisms into what are we talking about.

So you be the negative, and we'll see if we can get up to huge. I can't guarantee it. We might have to go back and forth a number of times working together. But we're pretty close, so hit me with that.

And can you tell me in what way I'm disfigured?

Okay. Well, thank you, wise guru. I'm enlightened now and see that I'm some kind of ugly monster who's going to scare all the women. in the United States. But to quote the Buddha again, what you're saying is, it's a lot of horseshit, and you know it.

But it's true, I'm not perfect, and I did have acne, and I do have scars, and there's plenty of Hollywood movie stars who have some kind of fantastic looks. But it's just kind of a bullshit thing that you're saying because I have a lot about me that's attractive, that I can be proud of, including my love, my humility.

I've built a tremendous body that 99% of men would be the envy of and 100% of women would love to touch and follow. But there is one thing that's very, very unattractive about me that you didn't mention.

That's that effing crappy voice in my head belittling me and constantly putting me down. And when I'm not listening to you, I'm feeling pretty damn happy. So to quote the Buddha and Jesus alike... Shut the F up.

Yeah, right. And how did I get to massive?

Yeah, I used all three, self-defense, self-acceptance, and the counterattack technique, and be specific.

Use those four strategies. As an aside, this is getting a little long, but we're actually close to the end. But, I mean, if you like this and want it to be published, you could do a part one and a part two.

You don't have three minutes or two minutes?

Okay, so I'll speed it up and bring it to conclusion. Okay. So we've beaten that one down. I'm not attractive. Let's see if you can do it now, okay? Okay. You know, face the facts, Joshua. You're just not attractive. Burns is just trying to bullshit you. It's just a fact. You're all scarred up. You look like horrific. If women don't pass out, they'll vomit.

Who won?

I thought that was a huge one. Okay. But I want to remind you, maybe beat me on that one, but you won't be successful. And that's just a fact.