Dr. David Buss

People do lie, but they lie in predictable ways.

They lie in ways that attempt to embody

The mate preferences of the person they're trying to attract.

Both sexes post photos that are not truly representative of what they actually look like.

So they might post photos of themselves when they were younger or they're even advice photos.

tips on how to create the best selfie of the best angle that will maximally, you know, enhance what you look like.

What happens with internet dating is that the photograph tends to overwhelm all the other cues.

And all the other cues are written statements.

And we weren't really...

evolved to process written statements, but we were evolved to respond to physical cues.

And men tend to attend to the visual cues much more than women.

So women in their mate selection, they have olfactory cues.

So what does the guy sound like?

His vocal qualities.

That's auditory cues.

But olfactory cues, what does he smell like?

If the guy doesn't smell right, even if he embodies all the other qualities women want, that's a deal breaker.

And so I encourage people just, you know, stop with the hundred texts back and forth or messaging and meet a person for a cup of coffee and

And then, of course, some qualities you can't assess even with a half-hour interaction.

You can tell a lot, but things like emotional stability, which is absolutely critical in long-term mating, is to do something like go on a trip together, take a vacation where you're even in an unfamiliar environment where you have to cope with things that you're not familiar with.