Dr. David Buss

And one of the hallmarks of emotional instability is

is how they respond to stress.

And so this is the sort of information you can't get on a coffee date.

You can only get by assessing it over time.

So one form of deception which we haven't mentioned is deception about whether you're interested in a long-term committed relationship or a short-term hookup.

The overt display that, hey, I'm interested in just a short-term hookup.

I'm interested in sex, so I want to have sex right now.

Let's just go back to my apartment.

These are very ineffective tactics.

So we find in our studies of deception that men tend to exaggerate how similar they are and how aligned they are in their values and religious orientations and political values and so forth.

And I think that's probably an evolutionarily...

a recurrent form of deception that women have defenses against.

We know something about how the preferences for a sex partner differ from preference for a long-term mate.

There is overlap, of course, but one thing is physical appearance.

So physical appearance for women becomes more important in short-term mating.

So those physical attributes are more important for women

They remain important for men, physical appearance, in short-term mating, but with the footnote that men are willing to drop their standards in short-term mating if it's low commitment, low risk, just sex without entangling commitments.

Women are more likely to prioritize what I call bad boy qualities, guys who are a little arrogant, guys who are risk-taking.

Women are more attracted to those guys in short-term mating than long-term mating.

Whereas in long-term mating, they go more for the good dad qualities.