Dr. Ellen Langer

It said, circle those things about yourself that you keep trying to change but you keep failing at. So for me, I'd circle impulsive, gullible. I won't tell you the rest. Okay. Then you turn the page over and in a mixed up random order are the positive versions of each of these. Now people are asked, circle those things you really value about yourself, my spontaneity and my being trusting.

And as long as I value being spontaneous, I'm going to appear impulsive and so on. And so now that I have more respect for myself because what I did made sense, I carry myself differently. I'm not doing what you were just suggesting before where I'm tormenting myself and so on.

And as long as I value being spontaneous, I'm going to appear impulsive and so on. And so now that I have more respect for myself because what I did made sense, I carry myself differently. I'm not doing what you were just suggesting before where I'm tormenting myself and so on.

And as long as I value being spontaneous, I'm going to appear impulsive and so on. And so now that I have more respect for myself because what I did made sense, I carry myself differently. I'm not doing what you were just suggesting before where I'm tormenting myself and so on.

And the people I'm with, you know, there's a lot in the mindful body that deals with language and only a fraction of the sensitivity I seem to have to language in a different way from the way linguists would study it. But you have things, you know, let's say forgiveness. We have all these terms that seem good.

And the people I'm with, you know, there's a lot in the mindful body that deals with language and only a fraction of the sensitivity I seem to have to language in a different way from the way linguists would study it. But you have things, you know, let's say forgiveness. We have all these terms that seem good.

And the people I'm with, you know, there's a lot in the mindful body that deals with language and only a fraction of the sensitivity I seem to have to language in a different way from the way linguists would study it. But you have things, you know, let's say forgiveness. We have all these terms that seem good.

And you know, because you figured me out now that if you say it's good, I'm going to find a way it's bad. If you say it's bad, I'm going to, good. Okay, so this is one of those. I don't want anybody, certainly not the person closest to me, to ever forgive me. I want to be understood.

And you know, because you figured me out now that if you say it's good, I'm going to find a way it's bad. If you say it's bad, I'm going to, good. Okay, so this is one of those. I don't want anybody, certainly not the person closest to me, to ever forgive me. I want to be understood.

And you know, because you figured me out now that if you say it's good, I'm going to find a way it's bad. If you say it's bad, I'm going to, good. Okay, so this is one of those. I don't want anybody, certainly not the person closest to me, to ever forgive me. I want to be understood.

And if you understand, there's no reason to forgive me because my behavior will make sense or else I wouldn't do it. Okay. So how did this come about? I was asked to give a sermon. Sermon, I'm Jewish. I have to go to this church because I say yes to everything. And I'm going to give a sermon. What am I going to talk about? I know nothing about religion. Forgiveness.

And if you understand, there's no reason to forgive me because my behavior will make sense or else I wouldn't do it. Okay. So how did this come about? I was asked to give a sermon. Sermon, I'm Jewish. I have to go to this church because I say yes to everything. And I'm going to give a sermon. What am I going to talk about? I know nothing about religion. Forgiveness.

And if you understand, there's no reason to forgive me because my behavior will make sense or else I wouldn't do it. Okay. So how did this come about? I was asked to give a sermon. Sermon, I'm Jewish. I have to go to this church because I say yes to everything. And I'm going to give a sermon. What am I going to talk about? I know nothing about religion. Forgiveness.

It's not religion, but it sounds religious-y. All right, I'll think about forgiveness. I think about forgiveness, and what I came up with was sacrilegious, some would think. If you ask 10 people, is forgiveness good or bad, what are they going to tell you? They're going to tell you it's good. If you ask 10 people, is blame good or bad, what are they going to say? It's bad.

It's not religion, but it sounds religious-y. All right, I'll think about forgiveness. I think about forgiveness, and what I came up with was sacrilegious, some would think. If you ask 10 people, is forgiveness good or bad, what are they going to tell you? They're going to tell you it's good. If you ask 10 people, is blame good or bad, what are they going to say? It's bad.

It's not religion, but it sounds religious-y. All right, I'll think about forgiveness. I think about forgiveness, and what I came up with was sacrilegious, some would think. If you ask 10 people, is forgiveness good or bad, what are they going to tell you? They're going to tell you it's good. If you ask 10 people, is blame good or bad, what are they going to say? It's bad.

But you know, you can't forgive unless you first blame. So our forgivers are our blamers. That's interesting. Now, do you blame people for good things or bad things? You blame people for bad things, but things in and of themselves aren't good or bad. So what happens is the people who see the world negatively, who blame, then forgive. Hardly divine.

But you know, you can't forgive unless you first blame. So our forgivers are our blamers. That's interesting. Now, do you blame people for good things or bad things? You blame people for bad things, but things in and of themselves aren't good or bad. So what happens is the people who see the world negatively, who blame, then forgive. Hardly divine.

But you know, you can't forgive unless you first blame. So our forgivers are our blamers. That's interesting. Now, do you blame people for good things or bad things? You blame people for bad things, but things in and of themselves aren't good or bad. So what happens is the people who see the world negatively, who blame, then forgive. Hardly divine.

Now if you blame, it's better to forgive than not forgive. But if you understand why the person did what they did, it obviates the necessity for blame, which then obviates the necessity for forgiveness. I'd love to bypass blame. Yeah, well, I think that's the way to do it is to recognize in a more open-minded way the motivations that people have vary, the consequences.