Dr. Ellen Langer

The mastering, not having mastered.

And so when you get something wrong, I think we should all be more like,

I do the computer programmers, where when they get it wrong, they don't say they got it wrong.

It's a bug.

It's in the system.

And I'm going to figure it out.

If you think of, I like crossword puzzles.

So in doing a crossword puzzle, it's great fun for me, or words with friends, or whatever, word games.

After I finish it, it wouldn't be fun for me to do it again.

because i know all the answers so you have to recognize that that not knowing is what makes it interesting what makes it impossible for some of us under so many circumstances is somebody else standing over you uh whether it's a teacher a spouse making you feel stupid for not being able to answer the question right away judging you shaming you and then you know that we need to realize so

My goal, this is, I'll write my next book about this.

Right now, the world is vertical.

You have those of us on top, comfortably, and you have, we make it as if we really know how we stack up, right?

As if the measures we're using are always reliable.

And I want to take that vertical and make it horizontal with the realization that everybody has special skills.

So let me tell you where this came from.

we are having lots of furniture coming uh to be uh stored in a basement i see the amount of furniture i know the size of the basement and i say to myself there is no way no way that all of that is going to fit this man who does some work for us who has no sense of himself he is uneducated

everything negative, right, in his mind.

He takes the furniture, fits it all in where it's all accessible.

And when I saw that, the first thing that I thought, it's not fair.