Dr. Emily Morse

Absolutely. And this is exactly, this is exactly it that if your partner and they might, because going back to your question, I really want to unpack that. If they've stonewalled or they said, this is off limits, I am never talking about sex. And I'm telling you, I hear this all the time. I hear from the partner who's, you know, wants to talk and their partner is completely shut down.

Absolutely. And this is exactly, this is exactly it that if your partner and they might, because going back to your question, I really want to unpack that. If they've stonewalled or they said, this is off limits, I am never talking about sex. And I'm telling you, I hear this all the time. I hear from the partner who's, you know, wants to talk and their partner is completely shut down.

So it is a curious consciousness with, what did you say, the Gottmans called it, a soft start? It's saying, you know, and it's curious, it's saying, so I hear that you don't want to talk about sex and it's really shut down for you. And I'm just wondering if we could, tell me more about that. What does it feel like to talk about sex?

So it is a curious consciousness with, what did you say, the Gottmans called it, a soft start? It's saying, you know, and it's curious, it's saying, so I hear that you don't want to talk about sex and it's really shut down for you. And I'm just wondering if we could, tell me more about that. What does it feel like to talk about sex?

So it is a curious consciousness with, what did you say, the Gottmans called it, a soft start? It's saying, you know, and it's curious, it's saying, so I hear that you don't want to talk about sex and it's really shut down for you. And I'm just wondering if we could, tell me more about that. What does it feel like to talk about sex?

I just don't want to talk about it and now you're making it a thing. Okay, yeah, it sounds like it's really, really, really, really painful to talk about it. I'm hearing you really don't want to talk about it. And I have some tools in here too, like that is that about, you know, like the Imago theory of listening. I mean, listening is so key in our relationships. Can you explain what that is?

I just don't want to talk about it and now you're making it a thing. Okay, yeah, it sounds like it's really, really, really, really painful to talk about it. I'm hearing you really don't want to talk about it. And I have some tools in here too, like that is that about, you know, like the Imago theory of listening. I mean, listening is so key in our relationships. Can you explain what that is?

I just don't want to talk about it and now you're making it a thing. Okay, yeah, it sounds like it's really, really, really, really painful to talk about it. I'm hearing you really don't want to talk about it. And I have some tools in here too, like that is that about, you know, like the Imago theory of listening. I mean, listening is so key in our relationships. Can you explain what that is?

Yeah, I can explain to it. It's really just the theory of it's a tool. But when you're talking to your partner about something, you repeat back what the question, what you heard them say. So let's say your partner says, I don't want to talk about sex ever. You're always pressuring me. Now, our first instinct might be like, I never pressure you.

Yeah, I can explain to it. It's really just the theory of it's a tool. But when you're talking to your partner about something, you repeat back what the question, what you heard them say. So let's say your partner says, I don't want to talk about sex ever. You're always pressuring me. Now, our first instinct might be like, I never pressure you.

Yeah, I can explain to it. It's really just the theory of it's a tool. But when you're talking to your partner about something, you repeat back what the question, what you heard them say. So let's say your partner says, I don't want to talk about sex ever. You're always pressuring me. Now, our first instinct might be like, I never pressure you.

But from a loving, curious, softer place, we can say, so what I hear you saying is that sex is not something that you want to talk about right now, and that it's not okay that I'm asking you. No, I didn't say that I don't wanna talk about it right now. I don't wanna talk about it ever. Okay, so you don't wanna talk about sex. What I'm hearing you say is you never wanna talk about sex. Okay.

But from a loving, curious, softer place, we can say, so what I hear you saying is that sex is not something that you want to talk about right now, and that it's not okay that I'm asking you. No, I didn't say that I don't wanna talk about it right now. I don't wanna talk about it ever. Okay, so you don't wanna talk about sex. What I'm hearing you say is you never wanna talk about sex. Okay.

But from a loving, curious, softer place, we can say, so what I hear you saying is that sex is not something that you want to talk about right now, and that it's not okay that I'm asking you. No, I didn't say that I don't wanna talk about it right now. I don't wanna talk about it ever. Okay, so you don't wanna talk about sex. What I'm hearing you say is you never wanna talk about sex. Okay.

Yeah, that's what I said. Okay. Well, could you tell me more about that? Could you tell me about what it might feel like to talk about it and say, yeah, I just, you know, I feel you are pressuring me again. So I hear you're feeling really, really pressured about this, you know, and there might even be like time to diffuse it. But what I'm saying is it just, you're repeating back what you hear.

Yeah, that's what I said. Okay. Well, could you tell me more about that? Could you tell me about what it might feel like to talk about it and say, yeah, I just, you know, I feel you are pressuring me again. So I hear you're feeling really, really pressured about this, you know, and there might even be like time to diffuse it. But what I'm saying is it just, you're repeating back what you hear.

Yeah, that's what I said. Okay. Well, could you tell me more about that? Could you tell me about what it might feel like to talk about it and say, yeah, I just, you know, I feel you are pressuring me again. So I hear you're feeling really, really pressured about this, you know, and there might even be like time to diffuse it. But what I'm saying is it just, you're repeating back what you hear.

Now, maybe you get to another place where they said, yeah, because maybe you have more, some more information. And they're saying every time, we talk about sex, I feel like I'm doing something wrong. Maybe that's what they say. So I hear you saying that every time we talk about sex, you feel like I'm criticizing you and doing something wrong.

Now, maybe you get to another place where they said, yeah, because maybe you have more, some more information. And they're saying every time, we talk about sex, I feel like I'm doing something wrong. Maybe that's what they say. So I hear you saying that every time we talk about sex, you feel like I'm criticizing you and doing something wrong.

Now, maybe you get to another place where they said, yeah, because maybe you have more, some more information. And they're saying every time, we talk about sex, I feel like I'm doing something wrong. Maybe that's what they say. So I hear you saying that every time we talk about sex, you feel like I'm criticizing you and doing something wrong.