Dr. Ethan Kross

You should focus on it. And there's been a lot of research on this. And what we have learned is on the one hand, chronically avoiding things is It's not good. It's associated with all sorts of negative outcomes for our emotional lives and beyond our physical lives to our health.

But oftentimes, the signature for adaptively coping with emotional curveballs is being able to focus on the problem at hand. Deploy your attention elsewhere, take a break, and then come back to it. And so this was a question actually I learned from my grandmother inadvertently.

But oftentimes, the signature for adaptively coping with emotional curveballs is being able to focus on the problem at hand. Deploy your attention elsewhere, take a break, and then come back to it. And so this was a question actually I learned from my grandmother inadvertently.

But oftentimes, the signature for adaptively coping with emotional curveballs is being able to focus on the problem at hand. Deploy your attention elsewhere, take a break, and then come back to it. And so this was a question actually I learned from my grandmother inadvertently.

My grandmother was this very interesting woman who grew up in Poland during World War II, had her entire family slaughtered during the war. One of these kind of devastating experiences, lived in the forest for years, back and forth, all this terrible stuff, family massacred and so forth. And growing up, she made it out of the war, moved to the States.

My grandmother was this very interesting woman who grew up in Poland during World War II, had her entire family slaughtered during the war. One of these kind of devastating experiences, lived in the forest for years, back and forth, all this terrible stuff, family massacred and so forth. And growing up, she made it out of the war, moved to the States.

My grandmother was this very interesting woman who grew up in Poland during World War II, had her entire family slaughtered during the war. One of these kind of devastating experiences, lived in the forest for years, back and forth, all this terrible stuff, family massacred and so forth. And growing up, she made it out of the war, moved to the States.

I remember being just so exceptionally curious about... what she experienced and how she was able to overcome it. And whenever I would ask her questions about this, she would always say, don't ask me why or what happened, why is a crooked letter?

I remember being just so exceptionally curious about... what she experienced and how she was able to overcome it. And whenever I would ask her questions about this, she would always say, don't ask me why or what happened, why is a crooked letter?

I remember being just so exceptionally curious about... what she experienced and how she was able to overcome it. And whenever I would ask her questions about this, she would always say, don't ask me why or what happened, why is a crooked letter?

That was a phrase she would use, which was really interesting because she didn't speak English very well at all, heavily accented language, but she'd mastered this curious idiom, like why is a crooked letter? In other words, nothing good comes from dredging up the past or really trying to understand things. Your life is awesome. You're in a safe place. You have a loving family. Just enjoy life.

That was a phrase she would use, which was really interesting because she didn't speak English very well at all, heavily accented language, but she'd mastered this curious idiom, like why is a crooked letter? In other words, nothing good comes from dredging up the past or really trying to understand things. Your life is awesome. You're in a safe place. You have a loving family. Just enjoy life.

That was a phrase she would use, which was really interesting because she didn't speak English very well at all, heavily accented language, but she'd mastered this curious idiom, like why is a crooked letter? In other words, nothing good comes from dredging up the past or really trying to understand things. Your life is awesome. You're in a safe place. You have a loving family. Just enjoy life.

So she's trying to shelter me. So she, for most of the time that I would know her during the year, she would never focus on this horrific event that she experienced, except one day a year where There would be this remembrance day and we'd all pile into a synagogue and we'd talk about or I would listen to them talk about their experiences and the emotions would come out. So she would dose herself.

So she's trying to shelter me. So she, for most of the time that I would know her during the year, she would never focus on this horrific event that she experienced, except one day a year where There would be this remembrance day and we'd all pile into a synagogue and we'd talk about or I would listen to them talk about their experiences and the emotions would come out. So she would dose herself.

So she's trying to shelter me. So she, for most of the time that I would know her during the year, she would never focus on this horrific event that she experienced, except one day a year where There would be this remembrance day and we'd all pile into a synagogue and we'd talk about or I would listen to them talk about their experiences and the emotions would come out. So she would dose herself.

her exposure to the emotional information. Turns out what she was doing is she was being strategic in how she deployed her attention. She was focusing on the emotional issue at times when it was productive for her, but at other times when it didn't serve her well, she occupied her attention with other kinds of thoughts and experiences.

her exposure to the emotional information. Turns out what she was doing is she was being strategic in how she deployed her attention. She was focusing on the emotional issue at times when it was productive for her, but at other times when it didn't serve her well, she occupied her attention with other kinds of thoughts and experiences.

her exposure to the emotional information. Turns out what she was doing is she was being strategic in how she deployed her attention. She was focusing on the emotional issue at times when it was productive for her, but at other times when it didn't serve her well, she occupied her attention with other kinds of thoughts and experiences.

And a large literature is now beginning to emerge which shows that This capacity to be flexible in how we wield our attention when it comes to sources of emotional struggles can be a really, really useful asset. And so I think it's important to remind folks that these blunt prescriptions to like always approach a thing, a problem, or always avoid it, they aren't always true.