Dr. Ethan Kross

And a large literature is now beginning to emerge which shows that This capacity to be flexible in how we wield our attention when it comes to sources of emotional struggles can be a really, really useful asset. And so I think it's important to remind folks that these blunt prescriptions to like always approach a thing, a problem, or always avoid it, they aren't always true.

And a large literature is now beginning to emerge which shows that This capacity to be flexible in how we wield our attention when it comes to sources of emotional struggles can be a really, really useful asset. And so I think it's important to remind folks that these blunt prescriptions to like always approach a thing, a problem, or always avoid it, they aren't always true.

And that often the magic that surrounds emotion regulation, I mean the magic not supernaturally, but the beauty surrounding it, is in being really facile in how we can deploy our attention.

And that often the magic that surrounds emotion regulation, I mean the magic not supernaturally, but the beauty surrounding it, is in being really facile in how we can deploy our attention.

And that often the magic that surrounds emotion regulation, I mean the magic not supernaturally, but the beauty surrounding it, is in being really facile in how we can deploy our attention.

Oh, I mean, our emotional lives are anything but straightforward, but we do have guideposts to steer us in how we deploy our attention. And so a couple of common heuristics that I like to use and describe to folks is, so let's say something bad happens. and you divert your attention away. You distract with a positive distraction, not a harmful distraction. And then the problem doesn't resurface.

Oh, I mean, our emotional lives are anything but straightforward, but we do have guideposts to steer us in how we deploy our attention. And so a couple of common heuristics that I like to use and describe to folks is, so let's say something bad happens. and you divert your attention away. You distract with a positive distraction, not a harmful distraction. And then the problem doesn't resurface.

Oh, I mean, our emotional lives are anything but straightforward, but we do have guideposts to steer us in how we deploy our attention. And so a couple of common heuristics that I like to use and describe to folks is, so let's say something bad happens. and you divert your attention away. You distract with a positive distraction, not a harmful distraction. And then the problem doesn't resurface.

Keep going. You don't have to go back in time. I experienced some friction sometimes with my dad around this issue. So my parents were divorced. And I dealt with the baggage surrounding that experience earlier in my life. And When I think about it now, I don't get upset. I understand why it happened. I love both of my parents. I've moved on. I'm well-adjusted.

Keep going. You don't have to go back in time. I experienced some friction sometimes with my dad around this issue. So my parents were divorced. And I dealt with the baggage surrounding that experience earlier in my life. And When I think about it now, I don't get upset. I understand why it happened. I love both of my parents. I've moved on. I'm well-adjusted.

Keep going. You don't have to go back in time. I experienced some friction sometimes with my dad around this issue. So my parents were divorced. And I dealt with the baggage surrounding that experience earlier in my life. And When I think about it now, I don't get upset. I understand why it happened. I love both of my parents. I've moved on. I'm well-adjusted.

But my dad likes to talk about this a lot whenever we speak, and he will often bring it up. And when he does, I'm like, well, we don't have to talk about it. I'm actually totally fine. This isn't a source of ongoing distress. Sometimes we're able to make sense of what has happened to us and move on with our lives. And when that happens...

But my dad likes to talk about this a lot whenever we speak, and he will often bring it up. And when he does, I'm like, well, we don't have to talk about it. I'm actually totally fine. This isn't a source of ongoing distress. Sometimes we're able to make sense of what has happened to us and move on with our lives. And when that happens...

But my dad likes to talk about this a lot whenever we speak, and he will often bring it up. And when he does, I'm like, well, we don't have to talk about it. I'm actually totally fine. This isn't a source of ongoing distress. Sometimes we're able to make sense of what has happened to us and move on with our lives. And when that happens...

That's our cognitive machinery operating really, really well. We don't have to go back and revisit every single thing. If, on the other hand, we are trying to get a mental break, we're distracting, and we find thoughts about these experiences continually intruding into our awareness and being distracting, that is then a cue, okay, well, let's focus in on it.

That's our cognitive machinery operating really, really well. We don't have to go back and revisit every single thing. If, on the other hand, we are trying to get a mental break, we're distracting, and we find thoughts about these experiences continually intruding into our awareness and being distracting, that is then a cue, okay, well, let's focus in on it.

That's our cognitive machinery operating really, really well. We don't have to go back and revisit every single thing. If, on the other hand, we are trying to get a mental break, we're distracting, and we find thoughts about these experiences continually intruding into our awareness and being distracting, that is then a cue, okay, well, let's focus in on it.

And then once you focus in on it, of course, there are multiple ways you can engage with that experience. Sometimes just bathing yourself in the emotional pain can be useful for facilitating a kind of what we would call habituation. So getting used to the discomfort and realizing it's not so bad to be in the presence of those negative thoughts.

And then once you focus in on it, of course, there are multiple ways you can engage with that experience. Sometimes just bathing yourself in the emotional pain can be useful for facilitating a kind of what we would call habituation. So getting used to the discomfort and realizing it's not so bad to be in the presence of those negative thoughts.

And then once you focus in on it, of course, there are multiple ways you can engage with that experience. Sometimes just bathing yourself in the emotional pain can be useful for facilitating a kind of what we would call habituation. So getting used to the discomfort and realizing it's not so bad to be in the presence of those negative thoughts.