Dr. Ethan Kross

But we don't teach people about this. So that's the other question that you gestured towards. Why is it? That we struggle so badly with this. If we have these emotions, why aren't we actually reining them in more effectively? I never had a class in this growing up. Some of the things that I was actually taught growing up, turns out, are not correct.

Like I was taught to always, always approach my emotions immediately the moment they are elicited. Dive in, try to fix them. Works in some cases. In other cases, taking some time away and then coming back can be really useful. So I think a big opportunity here is like, let's give people the tools.

Like I was taught to always, always approach my emotions immediately the moment they are elicited. Dive in, try to fix them. Works in some cases. In other cases, taking some time away and then coming back can be really useful. So I think a big opportunity here is like, let's give people the tools.

Like I was taught to always, always approach my emotions immediately the moment they are elicited. Dive in, try to fix them. Works in some cases. In other cases, taking some time away and then coming back can be really useful. So I think a big opportunity here is like, let's give people the tools.

Sorry. I, I, I was about to say, but my wife always tells me, don't point your finger. It's just excitement. I'm just getting excited. Um, thank you for that. Let's, let's address this. Um, um, I think this fundamentally has to do with, uh, whether we think we can actually control our minds or not, control our emotions or not. Are they under our control or are they in the driver's seat?

Sorry. I, I, I was about to say, but my wife always tells me, don't point your finger. It's just excitement. I'm just getting excited. Um, thank you for that. Let's, let's address this. Um, um, I think this fundamentally has to do with, uh, whether we think we can actually control our minds or not, control our emotions or not. Are they under our control or are they in the driver's seat?

Sorry. I, I, I was about to say, but my wife always tells me, don't point your finger. It's just excitement. I'm just getting excited. Um, thank you for that. Let's, let's address this. Um, um, I think this fundamentally has to do with, uh, whether we think we can actually control our minds or not, control our emotions or not. Are they under our control or are they in the driver's seat?

And several years ago, I came across this study that just floored me. Approximately 40% of, in this case, I believe it was adolescents, when asked, can you control your emotions? Said, no, you can't. I mean, you gave everyone who's listening or watching the name of my lab, the Emotion and Self-Control Lab. Like, viewing this finding was, I interpreted it as like an existential threat.

And several years ago, I came across this study that just floored me. Approximately 40% of, in this case, I believe it was adolescents, when asked, can you control your emotions? Said, no, you can't. I mean, you gave everyone who's listening or watching the name of my lab, the Emotion and Self-Control Lab. Like, viewing this finding was, I interpreted it as like an existential threat.

And several years ago, I came across this study that just floored me. Approximately 40% of, in this case, I believe it was adolescents, when asked, can you control your emotions? Said, no, you can't. I mean, you gave everyone who's listening or watching the name of my lab, the Emotion and Self-Control Lab. Like, viewing this finding was, I interpreted it as like an existential threat.

Personal insult, yeah. Yeah, it's like, what have I chosen to do with my life? My life has been a lie! Yes, that's like, what is happening here? I'm too young for the midlife crisis, right? And... And so I really kind of, you know, my advisor was a very wise, wise psychologist. I remember saying, listen to the data. And so I did. Like, what could this possibly be capturing?

Personal insult, yeah. Yeah, it's like, what have I chosen to do with my life? My life has been a lie! Yes, that's like, what is happening here? I'm too young for the midlife crisis, right? And... And so I really kind of, you know, my advisor was a very wise, wise psychologist. I remember saying, listen to the data. And so I did. Like, what could this possibly be capturing?

Personal insult, yeah. Yeah, it's like, what have I chosen to do with my life? My life has been a lie! Yes, that's like, what is happening here? I'm too young for the midlife crisis, right? And... And so I really kind of, you know, my advisor was a very wise, wise psychologist. I remember saying, listen to the data. And so I did. Like, what could this possibly be capturing?

And I spent a chapter talking about this in the book. There are facets of our emotional lives that we cannot control. And I now believe that. With every iota of being that I am. Let me give you a couple examples. You ever brush up against someone who doesn't smell very good?

And I spent a chapter talking about this in the book. There are facets of our emotional lives that we cannot control. And I now believe that. With every iota of being that I am. Let me give you a couple examples. You ever brush up against someone who doesn't smell very good?

And I spent a chapter talking about this in the book. There are facets of our emotional lives that we cannot control. And I now believe that. With every iota of being that I am. Let me give you a couple examples. You ever brush up against someone who doesn't smell very good?

Yeah, do you have an automatic reaction when that occurs?

Yeah, do you have an automatic reaction when that occurs?

Yeah, do you have an automatic reaction when that occurs?

Well, it's not just you. This is a pretty automatic response that most of us have when we encounter that kind of noxious response. And the inverse is true as well. I just got back from overseas and I was walking through the international terminal and I walked through this store that I've relabeled the emotion regulation emporium. Why have I relabeled it?