Dr. Ethan Kross

OK, so here's here's the deal with the attention. Here's the here's the high level, I think, critically important take home. Many of us, myself included, are often taught when you have a problem, you dive in, you deal with it immediately. You don't run away, you approach. We also hear that chronically avoiding problems, not good, gets you into all sorts of trouble.

It is absolutely true that chronic avoidance, and what I mean by that is if a problem arises, your coping tactic, your strategy is just like bury it, move on, deny, suppress, and just keep going. Lots of data showing that that does not work out so well for folks, predicts all sorts of negative outcomes over time.

It is absolutely true that chronic avoidance, and what I mean by that is if a problem arises, your coping tactic, your strategy is just like bury it, move on, deny, suppress, and just keep going. Lots of data showing that that does not work out so well for folks, predicts all sorts of negative outcomes over time.

It is absolutely true that chronic avoidance, and what I mean by that is if a problem arises, your coping tactic, your strategy is just like bury it, move on, deny, suppress, and just keep going. Lots of data showing that that does not work out so well for folks, predicts all sorts of negative outcomes over time.

What we have done, though, is we have overgeneralized from that observation that chronic avoidance is bad to assume that all avoidance is bad. And that is not true. Being strategic between how we engage with things that are troubling us, approaching and avoiding, going back and forth, can be a really, really useful approach to managing difficult circumstances.

What we have done, though, is we have overgeneralized from that observation that chronic avoidance is bad to assume that all avoidance is bad. And that is not true. Being strategic between how we engage with things that are troubling us, approaching and avoiding, going back and forth, can be a really, really useful approach to managing difficult circumstances.

What we have done, though, is we have overgeneralized from that observation that chronic avoidance is bad to assume that all avoidance is bad. And that is not true. Being strategic between how we engage with things that are troubling us, approaching and avoiding, going back and forth, can be a really, really useful approach to managing difficult circumstances.

You don't have to actually choose between approaching or avoiding. You can do both. Now, there are lots of very, very simple examples, simple illustrations, I think, of the value of this.

You don't have to actually choose between approaching or avoiding. You can do both. Now, there are lots of very, very simple examples, simple illustrations, I think, of the value of this.

You don't have to actually choose between approaching or avoiding. You can do both. Now, there are lots of very, very simple examples, simple illustrations, I think, of the value of this.

So have you ever benefited from getting an email that just pissed you off and not responding right away, but you took some time away, a couple of hours or a couple of days, you come back to it, and one of two things happens. Either, huh, what was the big deal in the first place? Who cares? Or... you can look at it from a different perspective, right?

So have you ever benefited from getting an email that just pissed you off and not responding right away, but you took some time away, a couple of hours or a couple of days, you come back to it, and one of two things happens. Either, huh, what was the big deal in the first place? Who cares? Or... you can look at it from a different perspective, right?

So have you ever benefited from getting an email that just pissed you off and not responding right away, but you took some time away, a couple of hours or a couple of days, you come back to it, and one of two things happens. Either, huh, what was the big deal in the first place? Who cares? Or... you can look at it from a different perspective, right?

You've got the psychological distance that taking some time away has provided you with allows you to approach this a little bit more objectively. I'm guessing both of those have probably been true for you, right?

You've got the psychological distance that taking some time away has provided you with allows you to approach this a little bit more objectively. I'm guessing both of those have probably been true for you, right?

You've got the psychological distance that taking some time away has provided you with allows you to approach this a little bit more objectively. I'm guessing both of those have probably been true for you, right?

Yeah. So as you get distance, you've got psychological distance from those experiences. Yeah. The passage of time gives you that psychological distance. It gives you that mental space.

Yeah. So as you get distance, you've got psychological distance from those experiences. Yeah. The passage of time gives you that psychological distance. It gives you that mental space.

Yeah. So as you get distance, you've got psychological distance from those experiences. Yeah. The passage of time gives you that psychological distance. It gives you that mental space.

And this is why we don't just have attention as a shifter, but we also have sensation, perspective. We have people shifters, we have space shifters, and culture shifters. So you don't have to choose between just either avoiding or approaching. But you also don't have to choose between just doing one of those and all of these other kinds of tools that are available to you.