Dr. Gabor Maté

You can have all kinds of loving feeling towards somebody, but be limited by your own traumas from seeing them for who they are.

And also a lot of parents in this culture wants their kid to fit in with the culture.

Now, that means you have a preconceived idea of who the child should be.

And then when you don't see the child as the way you want them to be, you're dissatisfied with them.

Another child will behave in more impetus to fit themselves into the parents' expectations.

So it comes from this culture's incapacity to sue people for who they actually are.

At some point something has to happen for you that causes you to wonder, who am I really?

And everything that I manifest and speak and do, is it designed to fit other people's expectations or does it line up with who I really am?

And people get to that point and that's what they call the midlife crisis actually.

And all of a sudden you start wondering, whose life am I leading anyway?

I certainly went through that, still going through it.

Eighty-one years old and still going through a midlife crisis, you know?

So, but what I'm saying, Jay, is there has to be a questioning there.

At some point you have to recognize that it's not working the way

that feels good in the heart or in the gut.

So there has to be that recognition.

Then there has to be a curiosity.

Now, you're asking about future generations, but the way we gift future generations is by actually working on ourselves.

Not by trying to be better parents, but by actually dealing with our own stuff.

That's the way we avoid, as best we can, passing it on to the next generation.