Dr. Gabor Maté

But at the same time,

I'm experiencing myself as a one-year-old infant.

And this therapist is my mom.

And I start crying and I say, I'm so sorry I've made your life so difficult.

That's my one-year-old self.

All of a sudden, under the influence, speaking up.

I took it on that early that I'm responsible.

In our conversation before, you told me about how you were in this relationship and

You couldn't leave it even long after you realized it wasn't right for you because you took on the responsibility of how the other person would feel if you had, quote, let them down.

I'm telling you, that's your one-year-old speaking, that you took responsibility for the suffering of your parents.

And how you mustn't let anybody down because it's your responsibility.

We take this stuff on so early without words, actually.

They just become ingrained.

And then we live our lives out of it.

Until something happens, like it did for you.

Your body rebelled.

Well, I think in your own work, you've touched upon very...

accurately on why it's so difficult.

For one thing, if you just, just the words that you just used, peace and love and connection, if you had played that to your 20-year-old self, how would he have responded?

So that's one of the factors is the conditioning in this culture.