The Abuse Isn't Always Your Deepest Wound | Dr. Gabor Maté
episodePreviously titled “The Real Reason You Can't Stop Your Addiction | Dr. Gabor Maté” — renamed by the publisher on Sep 1, 2026
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What is the real reason behind addiction according to Dr. Gabor Maté?
The things that are considered normal in society are not at all normal from the point of view of human life and human needs. The addictions that people develop are actually normal responses to an abnormal situation. Dr. Mate is a world-renowned physician, best-selling author, whose work dives deep into childhood development and the impact of trauma. Dr. Gabor Mate. If you were the average neurologist with symptoms of MS, nobody's gonna ask you about your trauma. There's a huge gap between the scientific evidence and how we practice medicine.
Why do you think in our modern society with all the medical and scientific advances that there's so much suffering when we have more information and knowledge and tools than ever before? What I read about your stuff, what I see about your content, is a lot of people are lost based on trauma. And past traumas cause certain addictions or certain behaviors and routines that maybe are some healthy addictions or unhealthy addictions, but it seems to be like a lot of unhealthy addictions.
Well, can I interrupt right there? Yes, please. No such thing as a healthy addiction. No such thing. If it's healthy, it's not an addiction. If it's an addiction, it's not healthy. There are passions, there are habits that are healthy, but they're not addictions. Like working out. Yeah, well, that can be an addiction, or it can be healthy. Like eating can be healthy, but it can be an addiction. I define addiction as any behavior in which a person finds temporary pleasure or relief and therefore craves, but then suffers negative consequences and cannot give it up.
How does childhood trauma influence adult behaviors and addictions?
So if you're suffering negative consequences, so it's craving, relief, pleasure in the short term, harm in the long term, inability to give it up. That's what an addiction is. Now, if you have a behavior that's ongoing, but it has no negative consequences, it's not an addiction. It's a passion, it's a pleasure, it's a habit.
It's a healthy habit.
It's a healthy habit. So for me, it's not an addiction. And also, a healthy habit, a person, if it no longer works for them, they can give it up. So for me, there's no healthy addiction. There's no healthy addiction. In fact, the word addiction comes from a word for slavery. So there's no... There's no healthy slavery. Interesting. So addiction, what is the root of addiction? The word? Yeah. So in Roman times, an addict was somebody who was assigned to another person to serve them because they owed them money and they couldn't pay it back. An addictus. Yeah, an addictus was like an indentured slave who had to work off the debt. So that's where the word actually comes from, is a form of slavery.
So if you're addicted to something, you are a slave to that craving.
Absolutely, absolutely. You have no choice. A slave has no choice. Wow.
They have no free will, essentially.
Yeah, and I've had my own addictive behaviors, and um nothing like the patients that i worked with but in so far as i had them literally even though i was a well-paid middle-class successful doctor i was not exercising any free choice really or my behaviors no when did you what was the main uh addiction that you were you know tied to and when did you learn yeah how to break free of that well
What role does shame play in addiction and healing?
So in my life, the main addictions have been to work. To work. Yeah. Work hard, achieve, succeed. More and more patience, more and more success, more and more. More and more is the essence of addiction. It's always more and more. And there's a reason why I developed that addiction. And that's the hardest one to give up. Then I was addicted for a long time to shopping for classical compact discs. And when I say addicted, I mean I would spend thousands of dollars a day. On CDs? Yeah. Really? Yeah, really. And I would lie to my wife about it and I would neglect my patients. And as soon as I left the store, Thinking now I'm complete, my collection is full. Half an hour later, I had to run back. And as I described in my book, An Addiction in the Realm of Hungry Ghosts, I once left a woman in labor in a hospital to go get a symphony.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the real reason behind addiction according to Dr. Gabor Maté?
0:00–1:39
2
How does childhood trauma influence adult behaviors and addictions?
1:39–3:29
3
What role does shame play in addiction and healing?
3:29–4:52
4
What is the connection between emotional safety and addiction?
4:52–6:14
5
How can understanding triggers help in overcoming addiction?
6:14–7:30
6
What does true healing mean in the context of addiction?
7:30–9:05
7
How can individuals support their healing journey?
9:05–11:16
8
What steps can be taken to break the cycle of generational trauma?
11:16–1:07:00
Speakers
2 identifiedMore from The School of Greatness
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Your Pain Pushes You Until Your Vision Pulls You | Michael Beckwith
Stop Waiting for the Perfect Moment, It Never Comes | Kier Gaines