Dr. Hilary Goldsher

Before I get into kind of the macro buckets of why people stay, I'll start where you ended, because shame is such a thematic reason why both men and women stay. When one quote comes out via...

public or criminal accusation or just even telling their community that they've been involved in a domestic abusive situation, there is deep rooted shame internalized because of their own inability to leave their admission that they stayed and endured abuse and the potential reaction of the community around them.

public or criminal accusation or just even telling their community that they've been involved in a domestic abusive situation, there is deep rooted shame internalized because of their own inability to leave their admission that they stayed and endured abuse and the potential reaction of the community around them.

public or criminal accusation or just even telling their community that they've been involved in a domestic abusive situation, there is deep rooted shame internalized because of their own inability to leave their admission that they stayed and endured abuse and the potential reaction of the community around them.

Oh, you're so well-versed and I'm going to cover.

Oh, you're so well-versed and I'm going to cover.

Oh, you're so well-versed and I'm going to cover.

Yes, that's a great foundation to lay forth as I begin this discussion, which is for those who are listening that haven't had this experience or don't know anyone in their sphere that have just have an open mind. It is a complex notion, but take a listen to the set of factors that can intersect, that can result in really strong, amazing women becoming victims over a very long period of time. So

Yes, that's a great foundation to lay forth as I begin this discussion, which is for those who are listening that haven't had this experience or don't know anyone in their sphere that have just have an open mind. It is a complex notion, but take a listen to the set of factors that can intersect, that can result in really strong, amazing women becoming victims over a very long period of time. So

Yes, that's a great foundation to lay forth as I begin this discussion, which is for those who are listening that haven't had this experience or don't know anyone in their sphere that have just have an open mind. It is a complex notion, but take a listen to the set of factors that can intersect, that can result in really strong, amazing women becoming victims over a very long period of time. So

Let's kind of start on the macro. There are a number of reasons, and they usually pool together, that result in women or men staying in an abusive relationship. And they fall under the following categories. There may be more. I might miss one or two. But these, from my anecdotal and empirical research and experience, are the top ones, which are psychological and emotional.

Let's kind of start on the macro. There are a number of reasons, and they usually pool together, that result in women or men staying in an abusive relationship. And they fall under the following categories. There may be more. I might miss one or two. But these, from my anecdotal and empirical research and experience, are the top ones, which are psychological and emotional.

Let's kind of start on the macro. There are a number of reasons, and they usually pool together, that result in women or men staying in an abusive relationship. And they fall under the following categories. There may be more. I might miss one or two. But these, from my anecdotal and empirical research and experience, are the top ones, which are psychological and emotional.

We'll get into all of these. Logistical, financial, physical safety.

We'll get into all of these. Logistical, financial, physical safety.

We'll get into all of these. Logistical, financial, physical safety.

Yes, we're going to start there, right? Psychological and emotional factors. So often, not always, but often a victim of abuse comes from a family and the details and the narrative and the stories vary, the demographics, the socioeconomic status, but at the core is some version of abandonment.

Yes, we're going to start there, right? Psychological and emotional factors. So often, not always, but often a victim of abuse comes from a family and the details and the narrative and the stories vary, the demographics, the socioeconomic status, but at the core is some version of abandonment.

Yes, we're going to start there, right? Psychological and emotional factors. So often, not always, but often a victim of abuse comes from a family and the details and the narrative and the stories vary, the demographics, the socioeconomic status, but at the core is some version of abandonment.

some version of an internalized sense of low self-worth or low value, and either an implicit or explicit edict to find a scenario, a relationship, a partner that sort of confirms and affirms that they're OK, that they're of value, that they're worthy.