Dr. James Hollis

So this focused awareness without relatedness leads to sterility and isolation.

And on the other hand, too diffuse without a sense of directed and purposeful behavior, you know, means that one is just sort of fumbling one's way through life too.

I've always said to women in therapy, you know, to be a man is in a sense your requirement is to know what you want and to do it.

But you have to do that too in what Jung called the animus, that is to say the so-called inner masculine or the inner focused awareness.

And that goal-directed behavior is what moves your life forward in a purposeful way.

But for men, it's about becoming aware of, again, context and relatedness.

What happens if I have the biggest pile of sand at the end of my life?

Well...

Obviously, you can't take it with you, but in the end, it's only sand.

Money is only money.

What was your life about?

That's the question.

Women have to ask that.

Men have to ask that.

And sometimes the culture is supportive in that process.

Sometimes it's opposed to that.

And then that's when you have to engage in a fight.

Men and women have a common summons here.

And they can be very supportive of each other as well as celebrate their differences and recognize, as men are beginning to recognize,

If you don't address what's going on inside of you, you're going to be simply a creature of adaptation and you're going to lose your way sooner or later.