Dr. James Hollis

It was more about things that mattered.

And that's what began to further my resolve to move from academia to being a therapist, a working therapist and so forth.

The point is, I need to add this, my way of responding to the family of origin and social context stuff

was to retreat into the life of the mind i didn't realize that's what i was doing at the time that's why the psyche had to reach up and pull me under and um then i came to realize that the fears that i had in childhood were the ones i had to face at midlife the difference being i was bringing the adult's capacity

to the table that was not present to the child.

So, quick example, in my first week working in the psychiatric hospital, I was assigned to a kind of grizzled old ex-military guy who was my mentor.

Without asking me, he took me into an autopsy.

It was his, you know, let's initiate the new kid kind of thing, you know.

Well, I realized it was a test, so I stayed cool and so forth.

All the while, I'm seeing this human body, you know, cut up and so forth in a radical way.

And I realized all that I had fled in childhood was right there on the table before me.

And it continued to perseverate in my dreams and so forth.

And I was back in Zurich in my own analysis and I talked about this.

And my analyst said quite rightly, he said, when you've dealt with your fears, the fears of others will not be so threatening to you.

Because the closed ward I was in was at times violent and so forth and was not a pleasant situation.

But I could feel my own sense of purpose and gravitas in that situation after that.

So it's like you can run, but you can't hide.

Sooner or later, what you've avoided will show up in your behaviors or your blockage in your behaviors.

So it doesn't go away.

It goes somewhere.