Dr. James Hollis

They felt something else was missing.

They felt friendship was missing.

They felt intimacy was missing.

In many cases, they felt parenting was missing or it had gotten short shrift, you see.

Um, as, as men often face when they look at retirement, they, you know, as the old saying, you should, you, on your deathbed, you don't say, gee, I wish I spent more time with the office.

You know, it's like, I wish I'd done this or that.

That's right.

So I think that another thing that men in our time really need to learn is if you're in a relationship...

Part of your role is supporting the growth and development of your partner.

And the more insecure the man, the more threatened he will be by that because she might go off in some other direction, you see.

And that means sharing household duties and sharing child care and so forth, which you do to the best of your ability.

Having a child and having two careers requires an enormous amount of juggling, as we all know.

But you can do it in good faith with the best of intentions.

If not, resentment builds.

And one-sidedness builds.

So I think for women, they still need a partner that will buy into the notion of genuine reciprocity in our responsibility to each other and to our work together, which includes child rearing.

Without which, women are unduly burdened, you see, unfairly burdened.

And I don't think we've solved that one yet.

I think that's still open-ended in the culture at this point.

On the other hand, it's stunning to see women grab hold of the opportunities available now.