Dr. James Hollis

A pattern is something that is replicating itself as a result of this story spilling into the world.

So what I learned in my own life was I had put so much of my emotional distress up in the world of the life of the mind, which was rich and valuable.

I don't repudiate that, but it was too one-sided.

And what I had to do was come back and face what was on the operating table in that psychiatric hospital.

the world of repressed emotion, fears, et cetera, et cetera.

It's like both are true.

Now, see if you can honor both of them.

And when you do, something grows and develops within you to respond to that in a new way.

Sure.

Well, first of all, each woman has to examine what was the message given her by her family, by her mother, her extended family expectations and role models, and cultural setting and so forth, and say, is this something that supports my personal growth and development or not?

I mean, that's a kind of inventory.

Men have to ask that same question as well.

We have to acknowledge that biological differences suggest if you're a woman, you're the one who's going to be carrying that baby.

And still in our culture, the major responsibility for it, while shared by father and mother, hopefully, still is something you have to attend.

And many women are trying to have it both ways, as we know, the career development and being a parent at the same time.

I saw a survey some years ago that a large number of women executives, all had MBAs and had all achieved, you know, like vice president status or something in their corporation.

When asked around age 50, would you do this all again?

almost 100% said no.

It cost too much for me.

It cost me too much.