Dr. Jamil Zaki

So that is in essence, taking tools from cognitive behavioral therapy and applying them to my cynical inferences. So again, my default mode, my factory settings are pretty suspicious. I want to lay my cards on the table. It's ironic given what I study, but there we are. So I often find myself in new situations, suspecting people, mistrusting people, wondering if they might take advantage of me.

So that is in essence, taking tools from cognitive behavioral therapy and applying them to my cynical inferences. So again, my default mode, my factory settings are pretty suspicious. I want to lay my cards on the table. It's ironic given what I study, but there we are. So I often find myself in new situations, suspecting people, mistrusting people, wondering if they might take advantage of me.

And what I do these days that I didn't do in the past is say, well, wait a minute, Zaki, where is this coming from? You're a scientist. Defend your inference. Defend your hypothesis. What evidence do you have to back it up? And very often, I find that the evidence is thin to nonexistent. So that challenge, that just unearthing of, wait a minute, are you sure?

And what I do these days that I didn't do in the past is say, well, wait a minute, Zaki, where is this coming from? You're a scientist. Defend your inference. Defend your hypothesis. What evidence do you have to back it up? And very often, I find that the evidence is thin to nonexistent. So that challenge, that just unearthing of, wait a minute, are you sure?

And what I do these days that I didn't do in the past is say, well, wait a minute, Zaki, where is this coming from? You're a scientist. Defend your inference. Defend your hypothesis. What evidence do you have to back it up? And very often, I find that the evidence is thin to nonexistent. So that challenge, that just unearthing of, wait a minute, are you sure?

No, you're not, can tap into a little bit of intellectual humility. A second thing that I try to do is apply what my lab and I call a reciprocity mindset. That is understanding that, yes, people vary in how trustworthy they are, but what you do also matters. Research finds that when you trust people, they're more likely to become trustworthy. because they want to reciprocate.

No, you're not, can tap into a little bit of intellectual humility. A second thing that I try to do is apply what my lab and I call a reciprocity mindset. That is understanding that, yes, people vary in how trustworthy they are, but what you do also matters. Research finds that when you trust people, they're more likely to become trustworthy. because they want to reciprocate.

No, you're not, can tap into a little bit of intellectual humility. A second thing that I try to do is apply what my lab and I call a reciprocity mindset. That is understanding that, yes, people vary in how trustworthy they are, but what you do also matters. Research finds that when you trust people, they're more likely to become trustworthy. because they want to reciprocate.

You've honored them in this small way, and so they step up. It's known as earned trust in economics. And when you mistrust people, they become less trustworthy. So in my lab, we found that when you teach people this, when you teach people to own the influence that they have on others, they're more willing to be trusting.

You've honored them in this small way, and so they step up. It's known as earned trust in economics. And when you mistrust people, they become less trustworthy. So in my lab, we found that when you teach people this, when you teach people to own the influence that they have on others, they're more willing to be trusting.

You've honored them in this small way, and so they step up. It's known as earned trust in economics. And when you mistrust people, they become less trustworthy. So in my lab, we found that when you teach people this, when you teach people to own the influence that they have on others, they're more willing to be trusting.

And when you're more trusting, then of course the other person reciprocates, which again, turns into this positive cycle. So I try, when I make a decision as to whether or not I'm gonna trust somebody, I think the default is to say, well, I'm taking on this risk. Is this a good choice for me? And I try to rotate that a little bit and say, what am I doing for the relationship here?

And when you're more trusting, then of course the other person reciprocates, which again, turns into this positive cycle. So I try, when I make a decision as to whether or not I'm gonna trust somebody, I think the default is to say, well, I'm taking on this risk. Is this a good choice for me? And I try to rotate that a little bit and say, what am I doing for the relationship here?

And when you're more trusting, then of course the other person reciprocates, which again, turns into this positive cycle. So I try, when I make a decision as to whether or not I'm gonna trust somebody, I think the default is to say, well, I'm taking on this risk. Is this a good choice for me? And I try to rotate that a little bit and say, what am I doing for the relationship here?

Is this act of trust maybe a gift to this other person? How can it positively influence who they become in the course of this interaction? And then a third thing on the sort of mindset side, and then we can get to some behaviors, is what I call social savoring. I do this a lot with my kids, actually. You know, savoring is a general term for appreciating good things while they happen.

Is this act of trust maybe a gift to this other person? How can it positively influence who they become in the course of this interaction? And then a third thing on the sort of mindset side, and then we can get to some behaviors, is what I call social savoring. I do this a lot with my kids, actually. You know, savoring is a general term for appreciating good things while they happen.

Is this act of trust maybe a gift to this other person? How can it positively influence who they become in the course of this interaction? And then a third thing on the sort of mindset side, and then we can get to some behaviors, is what I call social savoring. I do this a lot with my kids, actually. You know, savoring is a general term for appreciating good things while they happen.

It's related to gratitude, but gratitude is more appreciating the things that have happened to us in the past that are good. Savoring is let's grab this moment right now and think about it. So my kids and I started savoring practices a couple of years ago. I call it classes. So, you know, I'll say today we're going to do an ice cream eating class or we're going to do a sunset watching class. Cool.

It's related to gratitude, but gratitude is more appreciating the things that have happened to us in the past that are good. Savoring is let's grab this moment right now and think about it. So my kids and I started savoring practices a couple of years ago. I call it classes. So, you know, I'll say today we're going to do an ice cream eating class or we're going to do a sunset watching class. Cool.

It's related to gratitude, but gratitude is more appreciating the things that have happened to us in the past that are good. Savoring is let's grab this moment right now and think about it. So my kids and I started savoring practices a couple of years ago. I call it classes. So, you know, I'll say today we're going to do an ice cream eating class or we're going to do a sunset watching class. Cool.