Dr. Jamil Zaki

You could interrupt the patterns and look around more carefully. And I try to do that. And I encourage other people to do that as well. You know, one form of this is what I call taking leaps of faith on other people, right? Collecting more social data requires risk. So I try to do that. I try to take more risks, become less risk averse in a social context.

Now, this is not to say that I share my bank information with a prince who's going to wire me $14 million. You need to be calculated. You need to be smart and safe in the risks that you take. But I would argue that many of us are far too risk averse in the social world. And there are lots of ways that I try to do this and lots of ways that people can do this.

Now, this is not to say that I share my bank information with a prince who's going to wire me $14 million. You need to be calculated. You need to be smart and safe in the risks that you take. But I would argue that many of us are far too risk averse in the social world. And there are lots of ways that I try to do this and lots of ways that people can do this.

Now, this is not to say that I share my bank information with a prince who's going to wire me $14 million. You need to be calculated. You need to be smart and safe in the risks that you take. But I would argue that many of us are far too risk averse in the social world. And there are lots of ways that I try to do this and lots of ways that people can do this.

One is to just be more open to the social world. I'm an introvert. Andrew, I think you've said you're an introvert as well. Is that true? I am. Yeah. And so as introverts, we tend to think that the social world is maybe tiring and we need to recharge on our own. It's completely valid. I experience that all the time.

One is to just be more open to the social world. I'm an introvert. Andrew, I think you've said you're an introvert as well. Is that true? I am. Yeah. And so as introverts, we tend to think that the social world is maybe tiring and we need to recharge on our own. It's completely valid. I experience that all the time.

One is to just be more open to the social world. I'm an introvert. Andrew, I think you've said you're an introvert as well. Is that true? I am. Yeah. And so as introverts, we tend to think that the social world is maybe tiring and we need to recharge on our own. It's completely valid. I experience that all the time.

I think that sometimes my introversion morphs into something else where I underestimate the joy of social contact. You know, there's so many times that before a dinner party, I would pay an embarrassing amount of money for the other party to cancel on me. I don't want to be the person to cancel, but I would feel so relieved if they canceled.

I think that sometimes my introversion morphs into something else where I underestimate the joy of social contact. You know, there's so many times that before a dinner party, I would pay an embarrassing amount of money for the other party to cancel on me. I don't want to be the person to cancel, but I would feel so relieved if they canceled.

I think that sometimes my introversion morphs into something else where I underestimate the joy of social contact. You know, there's so many times that before a dinner party, I would pay an embarrassing amount of money for the other party to cancel on me. I don't want to be the person to cancel, but I would feel so relieved if they canceled.

But then while I'm there and afterwards, I feel totally fulfilled by the experience. It's a little bit like running. Running is another thing that I love. But there are many times that before a run, I think, gosh, I really don't want to do this. And then afterwards, I'm so grateful to have done so. There's a bunch of research that finds that people in general are like this.

But then while I'm there and afterwards, I feel totally fulfilled by the experience. It's a little bit like running. Running is another thing that I love. But there are many times that before a run, I think, gosh, I really don't want to do this. And then afterwards, I'm so grateful to have done so. There's a bunch of research that finds that people in general are like this.

But then while I'm there and afterwards, I feel totally fulfilled by the experience. It's a little bit like running. Running is another thing that I love. But there are many times that before a run, I think, gosh, I really don't want to do this. And then afterwards, I'm so grateful to have done so. There's a bunch of research that finds that people in general are like this.

If you ask them to forecast what it would be like to talk with a stranger, to open up about a problem that they're having with a friend, to express gratitude, to try to help somebody, even to have a disagreement on ideological grounds, people forecast that these conversations would be awful. awkward, cringe, painful, and in the case of disagreement, harmful even.

If you ask them to forecast what it would be like to talk with a stranger, to open up about a problem that they're having with a friend, to express gratitude, to try to help somebody, even to have a disagreement on ideological grounds, people forecast that these conversations would be awful. awkward, cringe, painful, and in the case of disagreement, harmful even.

If you ask them to forecast what it would be like to talk with a stranger, to open up about a problem that they're having with a friend, to express gratitude, to try to help somebody, even to have a disagreement on ideological grounds, people forecast that these conversations would be awful. awkward, cringe, painful, and in the case of disagreement, harmful even.

This is work from Nick Epley, Juliana Schroeder, and many others, by the way, on something known as under-sociality. And because we have these forecasts, we simply don't pursue the conversations. We don't go deeper. We stay on the surface. Nick, Juliana, and others then challenge people. They say, go and do this, have this conversation, then report back.

This is work from Nick Epley, Juliana Schroeder, and many others, by the way, on something known as under-sociality. And because we have these forecasts, we simply don't pursue the conversations. We don't go deeper. We stay on the surface. Nick, Juliana, and others then challenge people. They say, go and do this, have this conversation, then report back.

This is work from Nick Epley, Juliana Schroeder, and many others, by the way, on something known as under-sociality. And because we have these forecasts, we simply don't pursue the conversations. We don't go deeper. We stay on the surface. Nick, Juliana, and others then challenge people. They say, go and do this, have this conversation, then report back.

And people's actual experiences are vastly more positive and more fulfilling than their forecasts. So I try to remember this in my own life. I try to realize when my forecasts are too risk averse and too negative and say, let me just jump in. Let me take this chance. If it goes badly, well, fine. And if it goes well, even better.