Dr. Jody Carrington

Like, you know, all of those things.

Like I felt so often like it was such a juvenile response.

Like I would be crying and like,

Hanging up on my mom.

I remember my aunt had to get on the phone one time where it was like, okay, Joe, like you, it's okay that your mom is spending time with her.

I'm like, no, it's not.

How come they went for lunch and nobody told me, you know?

And I was like, Jesus Lord, because I think that, you know, there's so much about it.

And, you know, I know this to be true.

You have to name it to tame it.

And I think the secretiveness and, you know, you say this is so unique.

It's so funny.

Once I wrote about it or talk about it, so many people say that.

um we i have a sibling i didn't know about oh my gosh this happened to us or i know you know so many times you know just one generation ago it was just so blasphemous to have a baby out of wedlock and it happened so often right and so the secrecy the shame the guilt the things that you know so many people carried and you know we had some time

I don't know that we ever addressed it fully, you know, never with my dad, I think as much as we needed to, but certainly with my mom.

Like I said to them sometimes, I was like, do you ever think that carrying that secret for so long contributed to the breakdown in your marriage?

And my mom was like, no, no.

Okay, cool.

I'm like, oh, okay, sure.

So I think that sometimes, and I said to her, and I think I asked my dad this too, if she had never found us, because she came to them, because the rule in their 17-year-old bodies was that you never tell anybody and you never look for her.