Dr. John Delony

Okay.

Yeah.

So if she comes to you saying, our house as we knew it exploded.

Right.

A part of me, my child, was abusing another part of me, another child.

And through the smoke and ash of that mess, things have settled.

And in that time period, you were working really hard on you.

And then she says, I'm going to, I'm going to use her.

I'm going to add some language to her, her words of, I want to have a separation for a bit of her telling you, here's roadmap step number one.

my body is screaming at me that this house is still not safe.

And the very first thing she's asked you to do is a huge thing, but you've said, no, give me something else.

My hope would be that you've done enough work not to, and when I say work, that you have learned the depths of your anger and you've learned some ways to turn off that nuclear reactor in the middle of your chest and you've learned ways to reconnect with integrity and be the dad and the husband and the man that you have always told yourself you are.

Not that you have done a bunch of work so that you can end up getting what you want.

You know what I'm saying?

And so if you've done that work over the last year, then my hope would be that you could lean into her saying, every time I'm around you, my body sets off every alarm it has.

And you could say, got it.

Let's come up with a very clear, and I'll give you a detailed plan on how to do this the right way.

I get your sense of fear.

That's super valid and super fair.

Totally get that.