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Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
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Can you believe that you haven't gotten pulled off the air in 900 episodes?
Your clever editing is much more extensive than I thought.
What should couples make sure they agree on before getting married? What is your current morning routine and how has that changed over the years? Is emotional cheating or physical cheating worse?
That's tough. What up? It's the 900th episode of the Dr. John Deloney Show. Nine-hundo. Dude, that's awesome.
I know. Can you believe that you haven't gotten pulled off the air in 900 episodes?
I've gotten pulled off, but your clever editing, which I found out recently, is much more extensive than I thought.
Yeah, for those out there, I don't think John realized that I do my darndest because I have bills to pay.
No, you do your damnedest. You do your damnedest.
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Chapter 2: What conversations should couples have before getting married?
He just has a folder for in case my job is on the line. And it's all the things Kelly edits out of the show that he has in a folder somewhere. It's a big folder. It's a big folder. It's a big folder. All right, so as we do every one of these milestone episodes.
We do the Ask Me Anythings.
Chapter 3: What defines cheating in a relationship?
The Ask Me Anythings. All right, so you sent them to me. I got my head done trying to edit this book, so I haven't even opened it. So these are going to just come R.I.W. We're going to get high on our own supply, and we're going to just get it done.
All right.
You ready for the first one? Let's do it.
Okay. What should couples make sure they agree on before getting married?
You know what? This is a great question. I think the thing they should agree on the most is how we will talk to each other when things don't go the way we want or think they're going to go. Because I think there's so much pressure. You have to agree on this. You have to agree on this. You have to agree on this. I don't think that's true anymore.
I think there's some things statistically out in the world that say most couples do better if they agree on these things. That's all true, right? If you agree with somebody, of course, it greases the wheels and makes interactions easier. But I think the thing that you need to agree on is we are going to remain friends. And we're going to do things that...
keep our friendship not only intact, but that juices our friendship up and that we're going to come up with a way to talk about things when we get sideways or when we disagree. And I think, let me add one more thing. I think having a set of values underneath everything that y'all anchor into is important. The challenge is some people listen to the show and they're 20 and they just got married.
Some people are getting married for the third time and they're 56 or whatever, like 75 or whatever. And so what you think is a value at 19 is going to change. And so I want folks to have the same values. I don't care about their beliefs.
Give some, if you would, expand on values versus beliefs. What's the difference? And when you talk about, because it seems kind of squishy.
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Chapter 4: How can couples maintain friendships with the opposite sex?
I love that sentiment. I just think it underestimates the amount of change people have. I'm like on version 14 of myself. My wife is on version, she hasn't changed much to me, but like six or seven of herself, which means for me, I get to always be discovering a new person as my wife is becoming whatever she's becoming. And I've just learned to let go and love that part of my life.
Like, what are you into now? What do you like now? What do you not like now? In the bedroom, what did you used to like that you don't like anymore? What are you, like, interested in? Like, getting to know somebody new has become awesome. And when you're anchored into we're married and there's not a chance you're going to leave, man, what a fun, adventurous life you can have.
But it takes you letting go of your ego that what I believe is right and you have to believe what I believe. What a stupid thing. The belief is, like, let's get the same values and let's navigate our beliefs. Occasionally, beliefs will crash into, yeah, we need to have a sit down. But I think it doesn't have to be that dramatic most of the time.
All right. Second question. I just got out of a relationship and I was hurt pretty badly. Is it wrong for me to stay single?
No. Staying single is awesome. What I would suggest is not staying single... as a defense mechanism, but staying single as a recovery mechanism. Mechanism's the wrong word to use there. But yeah, dude, if you blow your knee out or you hurt your foot, you don't go play basketball the next day on another court. You need to take some time out.
If you get injured and then you go get surgery and you go to rehab and you get well, and then you avoid playing ever again,
um maybe that's the right choice for you but i want you to be intentional about that choice right i have had three different knee surgeries on all of those were related to adult basketball leagues i'm calling it like i'm good right so um if you got your heart broken you got hurt somebody treated you bad somebody's abusive or whatever yeah dude take some time um
to heal, take some time to metabolize that, take some time to ask yourself, what do you really want? And this is a hard question and I don't mean this to, but ask yourself and get some wisdom from a counselor, from a close group of friends. Did you contribute anything to that situation? Is this the second or third or fourth person who's hurt you?
And if so, what are you bringing to these relationships? What are you looking for in relationships? So being reflective and then asking yourself moving forward, what's gonna be different about any new relationships I get into? But I will say this, being single is different than being alone.
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Chapter 5: What are effective strategies for managing ADHD in relationships?
I don't want to get too dorky, but, um, too late. Um, so yeah, you'll see me jumping on a trampoline, a trampoline, a rebounder as the nerds call it.
Um, one of those little trampolines, right?
Yeah. And I do that for a while. And, um, Then I'll usually go head out for a walk or a rock in the morning. And then three or four other days of the week, I'm lifting weights in the morning in my home gym and try to get outside. The second part of that is I'm trying to be more intentional about... being present with my family in the morning when I can.
And so I want to see my kids, I want to sit down and be goofy and poke at everybody and share coffee with my wife if I can, that kind of thing. So being present in the morning, which sounds funny to say, the last two or three months I've just been at the zoo, trying to be present in the morning with them. That time's just getting so finite for me.
And so long story short, some time of exercise, some time of meditation and breath work and prayer, some time of trampolining, which gosh, what a dork, what a dork. And then some time with relationships. And so that's the crux of my morning routine.
Um, what are, what are some of the crazier things over the last five years that we've been doing these that have at times been involved in your morning routine?
Oh dude. I mean, five years ago when I started this show, I mean, I was militant. four or five, nine, I think is when I got up. I don't remember exactly when it was, but it was some obnoxious time without, I don't care if I had one hour of sleep, if I had seven minutes of sleep, I was getting up at that time. And I'm trying to think what I would do.
I would get up and I would go meditate and then I'd go sit in a cold plunge. And then after the cold plunge, I would go, I don't know, do Kung Fu with like, Dude, I was alone, right?
I picture you playing the song, Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting, with you just over there.
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Chapter 6: How can couples navigate disagreements productively?
Yeah, exactly. Yeah. You have to name like, who is the yellow rose of Texas?
That's right. You have to rattle off George Strait lyrics.
Can you answer that one? Who's the yellow rose of Texas?
What's her name?
Emily Morgan.
Who?
Emily Morgan.
Oh, I would have got that wrong.
Yeah. You know why she's the Ella Rosa Texas?
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Chapter 7: What role do shared values play in a marriage?
And that's pretty much the way I like it. It's pretty awesome. We also have a lot of ground. I mean, we eat venison probably three or four nights a week. And I use the Bearded Brother, the Bearded Butchers. Those guys have a seasoning line that's just out of this world, man. And I pay for it. They don't give it to me for free, so it's not like a sponsorship.
I love their stuff, and that's what I put in, like just ground meat and stuff like that.
All right, before we go to break, when we come back, I'm going to ask you about emotional cheating versus physical cheating.
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Yes. Can you believe that we have put up with each other for 900 episodes? Yes.
No.
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Chapter 8: How can you support a partner dealing with anxiety or stress?
Yeah, I think most females have a problem with the... lovey-dovey, the more emotional.
Connection.
But also, I am not that person.
You don't have emotions. I don't have any.
I don't care about your feelings. I don't want to talk about your feelings. I mean, that's just not me in any way. Yeah. So, great, if you find someone that wants to talk about your feelings with you, have at it.
I mean.
I don't have to worry about it then.
Yeah. I mean.
Because my husband has a whole lot more emotions and feelings than I do.
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