Dr. John Delony

Why is the, why is the voice in my head so incredibly awful to that guy I see in the mirror?

Yeah.

Which just leads to more negative self-action, which leads to more negative self-talk.

It just becomes this big recursive loop and you wake up and your wife doesn't want to be around you and your kids avoid you and you're 40 pounds overweight and your board is thinking about ways to get rid of you.

Yeah.

And the damning thing is those things just confirm the original story that started all this, which is you're not good at what you do and you're pretty much unlovable.

They just haven't found out yet.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

And so you have to go upriver and challenge that initial story.

Sometimes it helps to find out where that story comes from.

And if you grew up in a super strict religious household that was more concerned with performance than relationship, then that's often a place people start.

Right.

Yeah.

I'm inherently unlovable.

I can find some lovability if I will sing and dance in just the right way.

And I'll do that the rest of my life.

Until one day you stop singing and stop dancing and you are able to internalize I'm worth being loved just because I'm here.

And that paradoxically frees you to go do amazing things because you're anchored into something way bigger than yourself.

Yeah.