Dr. Julie Gottman
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Appearances Over Time
Podcast Appearances
That's all you have to do.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Easy.
So it started, it started in a perfect way, which was John bringing up that he's feeling bad about an interaction of ours.
But notice he's not saying you're a schmuck and that's why I feel bad.
He's saying, I feel like I can't do anything right.
So is you in there?
No.
He is having that feeling which pulls on my heart, Mel.
He's being vulnerable with me and telling me what his feeling is like.
And that feeling I'm translating into, oh, God, he's feeling hopeless.
He's feeling despair.
I don't want him to feel that way.
But here's the kicker.
I want to understand what's making him feel that way.
So instead of just responding with, you know, just a comment, I ask a question to try to understand.
Tell me more.
Tell me more.
Because, you know, it's sort of like if something pretty smelly is bubbling up from the earth, right?