Dr. Julie Gottman

Right.

Let me point out, though, what John is talking about, especially for really busy two-career couples, are those rituals of connection.

But they don't have to be great, big broadcasts.

They can be something so simple, like how do you say good morning first thing when you wake up?

How do you say good night and you look forward to that?

What do you do on the weekends when you get to sleep in?

How about a date night?

You know, I mean, lots of people talk about that, but do they actually do it?

So there's so many ways we can connect with one another that sustains the sense that, ah, they're right beside me.

They're right there, even though they're in a different office.

Let me just mention something about your meeting, which is fabulous, doing that as a ritual of connection.

One thing that we also talk about is a weekly meeting, which often takes place on Sundays.

We call it the State of the Union.

And so what we suggest is that first you begin with gratitude.

You think of something your partner has done that maybe you haven't yet thanked them for, and you express your gratitude and your appreciation to your partner for having done that.

You know, so often we take our partners for granted, right?

Especially after years of being together.

So all of us, however, still need to be seen.

We need to be appreciated.

And so starting with that is lovely.