Dr. Julie Gottman
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So it's judgment.
But from a place of superiority.
Wow.
Isn't that a killer?
Correct their grammar.
That's a great way to be contemptuous.
I don't value you.
I call it character assassination.
Not always.
Usually the listener is the one who recognizes it.
The other person usually has a pretty heavy sense of entitlement that they deserve to say that.
But let me also add something about why it's so destructive that a lot of people don't really think about and acknowledge, but none of us got parented perfectly.
Right?
None of us got taught with absolute appreciation in school.
So all of us have at base at least a part of ourselves that's insecure, that needs to be loved, that needs to be cared about.
And some people like to say that that's immature or
Or, you know, you're just not a grown-up.
And I would like to say to them, no, that's wrong.
We all have that inside ourselves.
We don't lose that core of insecurity.