Dr. Julie Smith

But also, there's a degree of, you know, in that parent-child relationship, often we carry the parent-child relationship into adulthood. And we still behave like the child in that relationship.

In a sense that we... Mm-hmm. And, you know, possibly, but a lot of parents won't necessarily have any more insight than they had when you were a child. And so I think we can't sort of rest our idea of healing on that, on getting those apologies or getting their insight. Because often they don't have it.

In a sense that we... Mm-hmm. And, you know, possibly, but a lot of parents won't necessarily have any more insight than they had when you were a child. And so I think we can't sort of rest our idea of healing on that, on getting those apologies or getting their insight. Because often they don't have it.

In a sense that we... Mm-hmm. And, you know, possibly, but a lot of parents won't necessarily have any more insight than they had when you were a child. And so I think we can't sort of rest our idea of healing on that, on getting those apologies or getting their insight. Because often they don't have it.

And often it's about developing a relationship with our parents that they are capable of as well. So that we're not expecting more of them than they're actually able to give.

And often it's about developing a relationship with our parents that they are capable of as well. So that we're not expecting more of them than they're actually able to give.

And often it's about developing a relationship with our parents that they are capable of as well. So that we're not expecting more of them than they're actually able to give.

Yeah, absolutely. And I think what we have to be really careful of, and you kind of see a lot of online, is this sort of resentment and bitterness, this sort of one-sided, this negative thing was done. You know, parents are the bad guys, I'm the victim of the bad guys, and now it's awful. And

Yeah, absolutely. And I think what we have to be really careful of, and you kind of see a lot of online, is this sort of resentment and bitterness, this sort of one-sided, this negative thing was done. You know, parents are the bad guys, I'm the victim of the bad guys, and now it's awful. And

Yeah, absolutely. And I think what we have to be really careful of, and you kind of see a lot of online, is this sort of resentment and bitterness, this sort of one-sided, this negative thing was done. You know, parents are the bad guys, I'm the victim of the bad guys, and now it's awful. And

to a degree, in the most severe scenarios where things are just awful, that's almost separate from what we're talking about here, where you can have a fairly normal childhood and there were things that negatively affected you, but there would also have been a lot that positively affected you. And so I think one way of sort of

to a degree, in the most severe scenarios where things are just awful, that's almost separate from what we're talking about here, where you can have a fairly normal childhood and there were things that negatively affected you, but there would also have been a lot that positively affected you. And so I think one way of sort of

to a degree, in the most severe scenarios where things are just awful, that's almost separate from what we're talking about here, where you can have a fairly normal childhood and there were things that negatively affected you, but there would also have been a lot that positively affected you. And so I think one way of sort of

creating a sort of antidote to just feeling bitterness and resentment towards your parents is to sort of nurture some gratitude around, okay, these were the things about your childhood that weren't ideal. What would be the things that you would repeat when you become a parent yourself?

creating a sort of antidote to just feeling bitterness and resentment towards your parents is to sort of nurture some gratitude around, okay, these were the things about your childhood that weren't ideal. What would be the things that you would repeat when you become a parent yourself?

creating a sort of antidote to just feeling bitterness and resentment towards your parents is to sort of nurture some gratitude around, okay, these were the things about your childhood that weren't ideal. What would be the things that you would repeat when you become a parent yourself?

What were the things that you value about your childhood that you think helped you become the person that you are or that helped you feel secure? So your parents might have been emotionally neglectful and not spent lots of time with you, but actually maybe... they held down a really difficult job and endured that so that you could have food on the table every night.

What were the things that you value about your childhood that you think helped you become the person that you are or that helped you feel secure? So your parents might have been emotionally neglectful and not spent lots of time with you, but actually maybe... they held down a really difficult job and endured that so that you could have food on the table every night.

What were the things that you value about your childhood that you think helped you become the person that you are or that helped you feel secure? So your parents might have been emotionally neglectful and not spent lots of time with you, but actually maybe... they held down a really difficult job and endured that so that you could have food on the table every night.

And maybe, you know, maybe your mum was at home every day when you got home from school with a warm dinner and, you know, had that kind of dutiful sense of love loving you. And so there will be new ways of sort of turning something and looking at it in a slightly different way that helps you to shift the feeling and not just sit in that resentment of