Dr. Julie Smith

But sometimes if it's not constructive, it just becomes a rant of everything that was done wrong for me and all the negative impact that's had on my life. And that's quite dangerous in some ways because you can then get into that...

But sometimes if it's not constructive, it just becomes a rant of everything that was done wrong for me and all the negative impact that's had on my life. And that's quite dangerous in some ways because you can then get into that...

But sometimes if it's not constructive, it just becomes a rant of everything that was done wrong for me and all the negative impact that's had on my life. And that's quite dangerous in some ways because you can then get into that...

that cycle of that sort of turmoil really of resentment and and feeling like a victim of it um whereas when you do that constructively for example when you do that in therapy it'll be a fairly balanced uh view and it will kind of look at the things that you wouldn't change and the things that you might do and um how they've impacted you now and how if if something that happened in your childhood got you stuck into a

that cycle of that sort of turmoil really of resentment and and feeling like a victim of it um whereas when you do that constructively for example when you do that in therapy it'll be a fairly balanced uh view and it will kind of look at the things that you wouldn't change and the things that you might do and um how they've impacted you now and how if if something that happened in your childhood got you stuck into a

that cycle of that sort of turmoil really of resentment and and feeling like a victim of it um whereas when you do that constructively for example when you do that in therapy it'll be a fairly balanced uh view and it will kind of look at the things that you wouldn't change and the things that you might do and um how they've impacted you now and how if if something that happened in your childhood got you stuck into a

I don't know, something that you do in your relationships today that you'd rather not, then you're using that, right? You're going to use that to then break the cycle because you're going to use that to say, okay, I know what I'm doing now. It's because of something that happened earlier on and I'm going to choose to do something different. I'm going to break that cycle.

I don't know, something that you do in your relationships today that you'd rather not, then you're using that, right? You're going to use that to then break the cycle because you're going to use that to say, okay, I know what I'm doing now. It's because of something that happened earlier on and I'm going to choose to do something different. I'm going to break that cycle.

I don't know, something that you do in your relationships today that you'd rather not, then you're using that, right? You're going to use that to then break the cycle because you're going to use that to say, okay, I know what I'm doing now. It's because of something that happened earlier on and I'm going to choose to do something different. I'm going to break that cycle.

So it can be really, really productive, but it has to be carefully done, I think.

So it can be really, really productive, but it has to be carefully done, I think.

So it can be really, really productive, but it has to be carefully done, I think.

I think in some ways a part of that work is understanding where your parents have come from and that they more than likely had their own complex childhoods in which they had their own damage that was done and cycles that they were stuck in. And probably, you know, they were sort of growing up in an era where there wasn't that education around this kind of stuff and there wasn't that insight.

I think in some ways a part of that work is understanding where your parents have come from and that they more than likely had their own complex childhoods in which they had their own damage that was done and cycles that they were stuck in. And probably, you know, they were sort of growing up in an era where there wasn't that education around this kind of stuff and there wasn't that insight.

I think in some ways a part of that work is understanding where your parents have come from and that they more than likely had their own complex childhoods in which they had their own damage that was done and cycles that they were stuck in. And probably, you know, they were sort of growing up in an era where there wasn't that education around this kind of stuff and there wasn't that insight.

And so they would have been living out their own coping strategies with whatever they were dealing with. So I think that's part of it is understanding that doesn't make it okay if your parents were, you know, horribly abusive. But it's one way of understanding these cycles that people get stuck in and how damage can be caused often without intention.

And so they would have been living out their own coping strategies with whatever they were dealing with. So I think that's part of it is understanding that doesn't make it okay if your parents were, you know, horribly abusive. But it's one way of understanding these cycles that people get stuck in and how damage can be caused often without intention.

And so they would have been living out their own coping strategies with whatever they were dealing with. So I think that's part of it is understanding that doesn't make it okay if your parents were, you know, horribly abusive. But it's one way of understanding these cycles that people get stuck in and how damage can be caused often without intention.

But also, there's a degree of, you know, in that parent-child relationship, often we carry the parent-child relationship into adulthood. And we still behave like the child in that relationship.

But also, there's a degree of, you know, in that parent-child relationship, often we carry the parent-child relationship into adulthood. And we still behave like the child in that relationship.