Dr. Julie Smith

And their reaction was not as bad as I thought it would be. You know, I had all that fear and discomfort, but that died down as soon as the moment was over. And then actually... I got what I needed and the situation was better than it would have been. And I'm not living in resentment.

So when you start small, you get these small victories that give you that momentum and give you that sort of drive to move forward and go for the next challenge. But you can't expect to suddenly go, right, from now on, I'm going to be boundaried and assertive and strong.

So when you start small, you get these small victories that give you that momentum and give you that sort of drive to move forward and go for the next challenge. But you can't expect to suddenly go, right, from now on, I'm going to be boundaried and assertive and strong.

So when you start small, you get these small victories that give you that momentum and give you that sort of drive to move forward and go for the next challenge. But you can't expect to suddenly go, right, from now on, I'm going to be boundaried and assertive and strong.

Yeah, right. It's just not going to happen. You have to do these things gradually and start with the easiest thing. Something that almost feels a bit silly that's so easy. It's almost a bit kind of, really, am I starting here? But then you get that little easy victory and then you move on to the next one, which is a little bit more difficult and so on.

Yeah, right. It's just not going to happen. You have to do these things gradually and start with the easiest thing. Something that almost feels a bit silly that's so easy. It's almost a bit kind of, really, am I starting here? But then you get that little easy victory and then you move on to the next one, which is a little bit more difficult and so on.

Yeah, right. It's just not going to happen. You have to do these things gradually and start with the easiest thing. Something that almost feels a bit silly that's so easy. It's almost a bit kind of, really, am I starting here? But then you get that little easy victory and then you move on to the next one, which is a little bit more difficult and so on.

And you're just scared of their emotional reaction or their disapproval. And it's, you know, it's motivated by fear of what their reaction might be rather than, you know, your own values around what should happen in that situation.

And you're just scared of their emotional reaction or their disapproval. And it's, you know, it's motivated by fear of what their reaction might be rather than, you know, your own values around what should happen in that situation.

And you're just scared of their emotional reaction or their disapproval. And it's, you know, it's motivated by fear of what their reaction might be rather than, you know, your own values around what should happen in that situation.

Yeah, and like you say, it's all about...

Yeah, and like you say, it's all about...

Yeah, and like you say, it's all about...

the choice and you know that you clearly have an awareness of it now and so if you found yourself in a situation where it was really detrimental to you and you knew that you probably should say something different but you'd said x because um because of that people pleasing tendency then you'd be in a better position to be able to choose something different because you have that awareness and and that's the key isn't it is it's okay to have that as a trait and that sort of tendency um

the choice and you know that you clearly have an awareness of it now and so if you found yourself in a situation where it was really detrimental to you and you knew that you probably should say something different but you'd said x because um because of that people pleasing tendency then you'd be in a better position to be able to choose something different because you have that awareness and and that's the key isn't it is it's okay to have that as a trait and that sort of tendency um

the choice and you know that you clearly have an awareness of it now and so if you found yourself in a situation where it was really detrimental to you and you knew that you probably should say something different but you'd said x because um because of that people pleasing tendency then you'd be in a better position to be able to choose something different because you have that awareness and and that's the key isn't it is it's okay to have that as a trait and that sort of tendency um

Because if you're aware of it, then when it becomes troublesome, you stand a chance at doing something different. It doesn't mean you have to eradicate everything and clean slate and start again. And that's the thing. A lot of stuff now is about, like you say, pathologizing everything and as if it's something that's wrong with us. And actually, those tendencies can also be

Because if you're aware of it, then when it becomes troublesome, you stand a chance at doing something different. It doesn't mean you have to eradicate everything and clean slate and start again. And that's the thing. A lot of stuff now is about, like you say, pathologizing everything and as if it's something that's wrong with us. And actually, those tendencies can also be

Because if you're aware of it, then when it becomes troublesome, you stand a chance at doing something different. It doesn't mean you have to eradicate everything and clean slate and start again. And that's the thing. A lot of stuff now is about, like you say, pathologizing everything and as if it's something that's wrong with us. And actually, those tendencies can also be

really lovable parts of us and things that other people appreciate about us or that we appreciate about ourselves, but that don't always work in every context.