Dr. Julie Smith

So, you know, if you're, um, if everybody else's needs and wishes and desires come first and you don't have the ability to put a stop to that when it doesn't fit, then you'll end up doing things that you regret and don't fit with your values or that don't feel like you're being a nice person, but it's because somebody else has more power over your behavior than you do. Um,

So, you know, if you're, um, if everybody else's needs and wishes and desires come first and you don't have the ability to put a stop to that when it doesn't fit, then you'll end up doing things that you regret and don't fit with your values or that don't feel like you're being a nice person, but it's because somebody else has more power over your behavior than you do. Um,

So, you know, if you're, um, if everybody else's needs and wishes and desires come first and you don't have the ability to put a stop to that when it doesn't fit, then you'll end up doing things that you regret and don't fit with your values or that don't feel like you're being a nice person, but it's because somebody else has more power over your behavior than you do. Um,

So I think assertiveness skills are a big part of what's taught in therapy, actually, you know, teaching people to manage difficult people and people who perhaps have more power in a relationship or, you know. It kind of sounds easy to be able to say no. And it's not because it's always packed out with lots of emotion and the complex dynamics between two people.

So I think assertiveness skills are a big part of what's taught in therapy, actually, you know, teaching people to manage difficult people and people who perhaps have more power in a relationship or, you know. It kind of sounds easy to be able to say no. And it's not because it's always packed out with lots of emotion and the complex dynamics between two people.

So I think assertiveness skills are a big part of what's taught in therapy, actually, you know, teaching people to manage difficult people and people who perhaps have more power in a relationship or, you know. It kind of sounds easy to be able to say no. And it's not because it's always packed out with lots of emotion and the complex dynamics between two people.

And so it can be really difficult, but it's absolutely learnable. And so that's where it's important to... Remember that even if you've had a habit for life of putting everybody else first and being the, I don't mind, I'm fine, whatever you think type person, that you can begin to change, but it's often about learning specific skills.

And so it can be really difficult, but it's absolutely learnable. And so that's where it's important to... Remember that even if you've had a habit for life of putting everybody else first and being the, I don't mind, I'm fine, whatever you think type person, that you can begin to change, but it's often about learning specific skills.

And so it can be really difficult, but it's absolutely learnable. And so that's where it's important to... Remember that even if you've had a habit for life of putting everybody else first and being the, I don't mind, I'm fine, whatever you think type person, that you can begin to change, but it's often about learning specific skills.

So a lot of it is practice in lighthearted ways. You know, we talked about the sort of acting opposite to urges, using polos and kind of, you know, situations that aren't necessarily the most emotive, the most difficult for you. You kind of grade situations. You could even make a list, to be fair.

So a lot of it is practice in lighthearted ways. You know, we talked about the sort of acting opposite to urges, using polos and kind of, you know, situations that aren't necessarily the most emotive, the most difficult for you. You kind of grade situations. You could even make a list, to be fair.

So a lot of it is practice in lighthearted ways. You know, we talked about the sort of acting opposite to urges, using polos and kind of, you know, situations that aren't necessarily the most emotive, the most difficult for you. You kind of grade situations. You could even make a list, to be fair.

So you can make a list of the different situations where it's difficult to be assertive or state your own needs. And you take the easiest one and you start with that and you practice and you have a go and then you come back and you see how it went, what went well. And so I was working with someone on dealing with those kind of assertiveness skills or needing to state your own needs in a workplace.

So you can make a list of the different situations where it's difficult to be assertive or state your own needs. And you take the easiest one and you start with that and you practice and you have a go and then you come back and you see how it went, what went well. And so I was working with someone on dealing with those kind of assertiveness skills or needing to state your own needs in a workplace.

So you can make a list of the different situations where it's difficult to be assertive or state your own needs. And you take the easiest one and you start with that and you practice and you have a go and then you come back and you see how it went, what went well. And so I was working with someone on dealing with those kind of assertiveness skills or needing to state your own needs in a workplace.

and, you know, going home on time or taking a holiday, those sorts of things. And so we started with something really that felt the easiest. And then we just assessed it. So, you know, stress test things and then learn from it. Actually, The anticipatory anxiety about it was much worse than actually the awkward moment of saying what I needed to say.

and, you know, going home on time or taking a holiday, those sorts of things. And so we started with something really that felt the easiest. And then we just assessed it. So, you know, stress test things and then learn from it. Actually, The anticipatory anxiety about it was much worse than actually the awkward moment of saying what I needed to say.

and, you know, going home on time or taking a holiday, those sorts of things. And so we started with something really that felt the easiest. And then we just assessed it. So, you know, stress test things and then learn from it. Actually, The anticipatory anxiety about it was much worse than actually the awkward moment of saying what I needed to say.

And their reaction was not as bad as I thought it would be. You know, I had all that fear and discomfort, but that died down as soon as the moment was over. And then actually... I got what I needed and the situation was better than it would have been. And I'm not living in resentment.

And their reaction was not as bad as I thought it would be. You know, I had all that fear and discomfort, but that died down as soon as the moment was over. And then actually... I got what I needed and the situation was better than it would have been. And I'm not living in resentment.