Dr. K

When my dad tells me when I'm nine years old, pulls me and my brother aside, says one of y'all is going to be a doctor, one of y'all is going to be a lawyer.

So if you look at most of what you want, and even when you say to yourself, I should do this, where is that idea coming from?

The should is a friction between the internal you and societal expectations.

That's literally what the word means.

So finding your dharma is first getting rid of all of your shoulds and seeing what is left.

Now, the problem is that

When we are faced with shoulds, that creates negativity within our brain.

It creates anxiety.

It creates fear.

It creates lack of desire, right?

Then we have to use willpower.

So there's this fundamental tension.

And then what happens is since the should creates an anxiety, my brain needs some way to fix that.

That's why we turn to dopamine.

That's why we turn to pleasure.

That's why we give in to wants, right?

The way I combat the should is by going towards a want.

Because the should makes me feel bad.

I don't want to study.

a should study.