Dr. Kelly Brogan

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131 appearances 1 recordings 1 series first heard Dec 2024 last heard Dec 2024

Dr. Kelly Brogan’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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Healing + Human Potential · The Truth About Women's Health + Mind Body Healing | EP 69 · 31 Dec 2024 podcast

Truly, what would it be to live in your body where it's never a problem? Your insomnia is literally not a problem. Your diarrhea is not a problem. There are no problems. right, that your body is expressing, to reprogram on that level means that you have come into an orientation towards yourself that is like a radical yes. Having a random illness that has an ICD-10 code allows you to what? Take...

literally zero responsibility for the experience and so the victim posture is built in to that diagnosis the defiance of that victim posture i think comes through the appreciation of how being in the victim actually works, like it meets our needs.

This feels like the million-dollar question, and I love just diving right in to the deep end. Yeah, to talk about the shadow of fawning and just the hollowness that ultimately characterizes a life built on the good girl archetype. My primary qualification, I mean, you mentioned that I'm a psychiatrist. I was a neuroscience major in college.

I have been very invested for a long time in cracking the code of human behavior and attempting to validate so many aspects of our lived experience through psychology. You know, the microscope and my primary credential is that I am many decades into good girl programming and have in so many ways achieved the promise of what is on offer through the sort of.

external validation that is available for women today, thanks to, you know, the feminist agenda. You know, there's so many ways that we can come into a sense of security. And I've achieved so much of that, that I don't have any sort of like any farther to go up the summit of the mountain. Like I can't quite tell myself like, oh, it's still over there.

And the gaslight just sort of spontaneously resolved for me in an instant where I saw, you know, it's not here, right? Like whatever that strategy is that says, if you secure approval, and approval, by the way, is not only like, you're nice, we like you, right? So approval is also collective approval, right?

So you could argue my credentials, for example, are one of the ways that I have secured approval, even as I've stirred the pot in terms of controversy and other ways that I've been challenging, pushing the envelope, so to speak. But that approval will take you to a place where you're watching right, in this dissociated way, you're watching what you are achieving.

You're watching what you're securing. You're watching what the many products of your efforts. You're not actually there. Like you're not actually the one experiencing this. And so probably the place where this often comes home to roost is in our relationships and specifically romantic relationships and partnerships and marriages, right, where you can

you can find yourself really at that glass wall of intimacy and recognize that there's like a yearning in your heart for something different and just have no idea like how it is. How do you penetrate the glass? Like, how do you get to the other side? How do you touch someone's, skin through that kind of a barrier. And I guess the moment that you recognize it's an inside job, it's up to you.

Nobody else can deliver you there. And your partner doesn't have to change. Your employees and your job doesn't have to change. There's no amount of money you can manifest that's ever going to make this feel better that you finally get to that place where you're like, all right, I'm ready to roll up my sleeves and take responsibility for my experience as an embodied woman.

And what the hell does that actually look like? And so, you know, that's how there's like thousands of us, millions, you know, in our 30s and 40s trying to figure out what it means to be a woman. Like, what do we even... doing here? How do we approach this seeming dilemma of having it all and yet feeling so little of that havingness?

So you mentioned earlier that this is a nervous system matter. And I think that that took me a long time to recognize. And I feel like now, again, it's in the zeitgeist. We're starting to see that this isn't a will-based operation, right? There's no way that you can learn how to be a softer, more abundant woman. This isn't something you put on your to-do list.

And it's not something that you just sort of like... pray for or put on your Pinterest like manifestation board or whatever. You have to have a literal system, right? The neurophysiology must be aligned with having more, right? Because there's all sorts of ways that having more has been tagged as dangerous, right? And the having can be literal, right?

So like monetary assets and evidence that you are in a certain kind of class, right? But it can also be intangible, right? It could be more love, more erotic energy in your life. It could be more of a sense of belonging. And our systems will contract around that expansion when presented with the opportunity.

If we are still in the programming that says, you know, I would, I would refer to it as a mother wound, but that says, stay small for me. And when we take that programming into our adulthood, we end up living in, especially as women living in, in comparative dynamics, right? Where we assess other women and we

sort of hierarchically organize ourselves in ways that are not native to a woman's sensibilities, right? Women are not natively hierarchical. We are collaborative and yet our wounding and you could, you know, get more conspiratorial around it.

The societal agenda that serves the fragmentation of women, you know, and women of women and men, and even of women and children has delivered us to this place where we now reflexively assess, right? Like, How do I measure up against her? And that's why one of the deepest portals that I've accessed in my own reclamation process as a woman is the judgment of other women.

So there was a time several years ago where I could have drawn up a scroll of all of the ways that I... I judged women, right? Whether they were too overtly sexual or flirtatious, whether they dressed inappropriately, whether they were, you know, shallow or lazy, incompetent. Those were like huge ones for me. Ditsy, like, you know, all of these ways that I kept woman, right?

Like a woman who's not doing meaningful work in the world, who's not contributing. All of the ways that I judged these women, And again, sometimes I would admit to that, but often it would be like an internal little experience I would have while like scrolling on social media. Ultimately, those were little portals for me to make contact with dimensions of myself that were not allowed to belong.

And it's like at a certain point, like who cares what the origin of that is? That's just the reality, right? Like I was not allowed to be like perceived as attention seeking, for example. because I was very, very aligned with attention-seeking behavior being wrong and bad.

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