Dr. Kelly Brogan

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131 appearances 1 recordings 1 series first heard Dec 2024 last heard Dec 2024

Dr. Kelly Brogan’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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Healing + Human Potential · The Truth About Women's Health + Mind Body Healing | EP 69 · 31 Dec 2024 podcast

So what happens to especially that little girl inside of me who just wants to put on the fucking tutu and run around the room and have all the eyes on her, right? She doesn't get to exist. And so what happens is she ends up pulling the strings behind the curtain, you know, like Oz, and... I feel this conflict. And you referenced it earlier. It's often felt as shame, right?

I feel this split inside of myself of the rejected parts of me wanting my attention, right? And that is so expensive energetically. It ends up being such a drain. And I would say the fullest expression of that drain is what we call illness. But it ends up being so costly that...

it is responsible for the stuckness that is a kind of like Sisyphean hell that we find ourselves in as women where that stuckness, that silent scream of this can't be it, right? Like what is my life, right? Like what, did I really come here just for this? Really, I think that that's like the

Well, yeah, and I should offer a bit more context, which is that my initiation, I guess, to this work, which of course, this is like young Ian. I mean, this is like many, many people have been speaking about this concept before me, but of course, until it's like embodied, it's not yours to really own an experience.

But my greater context for this was that I began to represent myself publicly, right? So I already had a public platform, but I had a public platform as like a credentialed wearing activist and intellectual academic. And I began to represent this other side of me, I guess, publicly and specifically on social media. And this other side of me,

we'll dance on a pole in a bikini and we'll create like a little video mashup with like a costume and the soundtrack and like my own little editing and we'll find no more delight in anything in the world. Like that would be the most pleasurable thing I could possibly do to create that little piece of my own artwork. And of course, the feeling that I had was that inner girl, right?

That little girl who said like, hey, do you like what I made? It's like my fingers were wet from the paint still. And I went through a whole phase. And that's not to diminish it to suggest that like, oh, it was just a phase. It was a literal maturational process that I moved through where I exposed this aspect of myself and I was...

understandably, I received a good amount of pushback and judgment and cancellation. And I think many of the people who were following me were like, what are you doing? You're embarrassing yourself. You're confusing us. And maybe even worse, you're undermining the mission and you're recklessly endangering those you purport to be here to support and help. And

So in that sort of like witch burning experience that I had, it went on for, I don't know, six, nine months. I was able to, you know, it was a fork in the road. Right. So I have, I have a big mouth. I know how to use it, especially when I feel affronted. Right. And that's how I survived a lot of my upbringing. And so I could have. you know, gone to bat, right?

And I could have really showcased my skills and made sure I got my audience to see how wrong these people were for judging me, blah, blah, blah, whatever. So the defending posture, I could have adopted that. And for whatever reason, instead, I decided to make a spiritual practice of this. And every single time I came across a comment in real life or on social media, so the anonymous,

condemning voice, I would try it on. And ultimately I called this simple practice wearing the villain crown, where I would just make a very short practice, like literally would take minutes. This isn't like some elaborate thing. And I would try on the possibility that I am what it is that I'm being accused of. being. And so it was just kind of a way to take the piss out of it, right?

So to experience the worst case scenario and the privacy of my own body in my own home with nobody watching and to start to titrate into the possibility that I am more than my behavior, right? And that requires a kind of fluidity and plasticity in what I am defining as the codified rules for my behavior.

And only through that portal, at least for me, could I make contact with the meanness that is not the doctor, that is not the mom, that is not the this, that is not the that, and start to develop some literal neurophysiologic resiliency.

So that portal trained me, but it was also something that came into my field after I had a very strong foundation of my, you know, health and body and my orientation towards self-care, right? So that's why I do think that there is, there's an order of operations. And when you start to do this kind of work, right, shadow work, reparenting, and you're literally

nervous system does not have the capacity to hold these energies. I mean, shame feels like an immolation. It feels like there's like a fiery cavern that's opened up that you're literally going to get like sucked into. And you kind of like hope to, right? Like, please, can I just disappear? And like, I'll feel anything but this.

And our elaborate sets of defenses, also known as our personalities, are designed to mitigate even the slightest of those sensations. And when you just let it rip, right? Like you just let it happen, you'll discover the arc that most of the time we never even visit with. We just feel the very, very tip of most of our emotions and associated sensations.

But when you allow it to exist and move, and again, I used to be really, I did Kundalini yoga teacher training. I used to be really into more cathartic expressions, right? Like punching the pillow, screaming, and there's an absolute place for that. But the kind of maturational development I'm now interested in, there's almost nothing to see from the outside in.

And that kind of alchemy can only happen when there's a really strong container, like a kind of a this movement happens and this motion occurs and you are, I call it self-husbanding, but you are, you're there in devoted presence. And it was interesting because the last thing I'll say is that I have a colleague, Yolanda Norris-Clark, and she is a, I would call her like a birth advocate.

And she wrote a book actually called Portal. and we were talking on my podcast about it, and she was talking about how her more profoundly blissful births out of her 10 babies, yeah, there was like nothing to see, right? There was no moaning, no screaming, no like movie level like catharsis, right? And that kind of being with, right? So you're not getting it out.

You're not even really moving anything. It's just becoming something. you-ness, right? And that reclamation of your vital force, it's yours. You came here to embody it. That's literally why you incarnate. It is yours. So that embrace of it, that approval of it, that integration with it opens up exactly the experience of creative inspiration and fun and play and pleasure.

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