Dr. Laurie Santos

crave like plopping down and watching Netflix or like eating a cupcake or having like a huge glass of wine. But like, if you actually look at how much I would like that, the Netflix is going to make me apathetic and the cupcake is going to give me the jitters and the wine, I'm not going to sleep very well.

crave like plopping down and watching Netflix or like eating a cupcake or having like a huge glass of wine. But like, if you actually look at how much I would like that, the Netflix is going to make me apathetic and the cupcake is going to give me the jitters and the wine, I'm not going to sleep very well.

Like ultimately the liking has this disconnect from the wanting and you get it in the reverse direction too. Like I don't, after a long day at work, crave a really hard Peloton ride. or a really hard yoga class or taking a long walk with a friend. I don't have the same motivation I have for that that I do for the cupcake or the boring, relaxing thing or a hit of social media.

Like ultimately the liking has this disconnect from the wanting and you get it in the reverse direction too. Like I don't, after a long day at work, crave a really hard Peloton ride. or a really hard yoga class or taking a long walk with a friend. I don't have the same motivation I have for that that I do for the cupcake or the boring, relaxing thing or a hit of social media.

Like ultimately the liking has this disconnect from the wanting and you get it in the reverse direction too. Like I don't, after a long day at work, crave a really hard Peloton ride. or a really hard yoga class or taking a long walk with a friend. I don't have the same motivation I have for that that I do for the cupcake or the boring, relaxing thing or a hit of social media.

But even though I don't have the wanting, if I actually engage in that practice, I'll feel so much better. And so this is a dumb way to design a brain. You think that wanting would kind of go with liking, but it just sort of doesn't. And that means we spend a lot of time craving and easily going after things we won't really like.

But even though I don't have the wanting, if I actually engage in that practice, I'll feel so much better. And so this is a dumb way to design a brain. You think that wanting would kind of go with liking, but it just sort of doesn't. And that means we spend a lot of time craving and easily going after things we won't really like.

But even though I don't have the wanting, if I actually engage in that practice, I'll feel so much better. And so this is a dumb way to design a brain. You think that wanting would kind of go with liking, but it just sort of doesn't. And that means we spend a lot of time craving and easily going after things we won't really like.

And it means we don't have mechanisms, except very kind of rational, you know, push ourselves. We don't have these kind of low-grade craving mechanisms to go after things that really will benefit our happiness, but we don't realize we want them.

And it means we don't have mechanisms, except very kind of rational, you know, push ourselves. We don't have these kind of low-grade craving mechanisms to go after things that really will benefit our happiness, but we don't realize we want them.

And it means we don't have mechanisms, except very kind of rational, you know, push ourselves. We don't have these kind of low-grade craving mechanisms to go after things that really will benefit our happiness, but we don't realize we want them.

Yeah, well, there's you know, there's two ways to do it. You know, one is this very rational force yourself way, which which I harness a lot, which is like, OK, even though I don't really feel like calling anyone right now, I know the science. And if I talk to someone, I'll feel better. Right. You know, so you kind of the force yourself approach. Right.

Yeah, well, there's you know, there's two ways to do it. You know, one is this very rational force yourself way, which which I harness a lot, which is like, OK, even though I don't really feel like calling anyone right now, I know the science. And if I talk to someone, I'll feel better. Right. You know, so you kind of the force yourself approach. Right.

Yeah, well, there's you know, there's two ways to do it. You know, one is this very rational force yourself way, which which I harness a lot, which is like, OK, even though I don't really feel like calling anyone right now, I know the science. And if I talk to someone, I'll feel better. Right. You know, so you kind of the force yourself approach. Right.

But the force yourself approach works best if it's paired with the second practice, which is forcing yourself to notice what you like. Because the wanting system can update. It just doesn't do it naturally. But after a really hard yoga class or after calling that friend when you didn't feel like it, take time to notice, like, does this feel good? And you're like, yeah, this actually feels nice.

But the force yourself approach works best if it's paired with the second practice, which is forcing yourself to notice what you like. Because the wanting system can update. It just doesn't do it naturally. But after a really hard yoga class or after calling that friend when you didn't feel like it, take time to notice, like, does this feel good? And you're like, yeah, this actually feels nice.

But the force yourself approach works best if it's paired with the second practice, which is forcing yourself to notice what you like. Because the wanting system can update. It just doesn't do it naturally. But after a really hard yoga class or after calling that friend when you didn't feel like it, take time to notice, like, does this feel good? And you're like, yeah, this actually feels nice.

I had this, you know, pre-COVID when I was going to a yoga studio, this wonderful yoga instructor at Right at the end of a hard class would have you take this moment like, OK, now take a moment to notice. Notice how you feel after this class, like notice how this made you feel. And after you're like, damn, that was great. Like, I want more of this feeling, you know.

I had this, you know, pre-COVID when I was going to a yoga studio, this wonderful yoga instructor at Right at the end of a hard class would have you take this moment like, OK, now take a moment to notice. Notice how you feel after this class, like notice how this made you feel. And after you're like, damn, that was great. Like, I want more of this feeling, you know.

I had this, you know, pre-COVID when I was going to a yoga studio, this wonderful yoga instructor at Right at the end of a hard class would have you take this moment like, OK, now take a moment to notice. Notice how you feel after this class, like notice how this made you feel. And after you're like, damn, that was great. Like, I want more of this feeling, you know.