Dr. Laurie Santos

We're really susceptible to social comparison when it comes to evaluating anything in our life, our abilities, our amount of money, our salary, our house, whatever. And that means that we can easily start feeling bad even when we're in objectively a good situation. My favorite extreme example of this was a study that looked at the emotions of different Olympic medalists.

So probably gold medalists probably feeling pretty happy, like, you know, makes sense. They just want a gold medal. Yeah. But what about silver medalists? You know, maybe slightly less happy. But what researchers find is that if you look at the emotional expressions that silver medalists show on the stand.

So probably gold medalists probably feeling pretty happy, like, you know, makes sense. They just want a gold medal. Yeah. But what about silver medalists? You know, maybe slightly less happy. But what researchers find is that if you look at the emotional expressions that silver medalists show on the stand.

So probably gold medalists probably feeling pretty happy, like, you know, makes sense. They just want a gold medal. Yeah. But what about silver medalists? You know, maybe slightly less happy. But what researchers find is that if you look at the emotional expressions that silver medalists show on the stand.

They're not just slightly less happy. They're actively feeling awful. They're showing signs of extreme sadness, contempt, anger. It's not just slightly less happy. It's actively negative. Wow. If you think about what I just said, it sort of makes sense, right? Because the silver medalist isn't thinking, I'm objectively the second best in the world.

They're not just slightly less happy. They're actively feeling awful. They're showing signs of extreme sadness, contempt, anger. It's not just slightly less happy. It's actively negative. Wow. If you think about what I just said, it sort of makes sense, right? Because the silver medalist isn't thinking, I'm objectively the second best in the world.

They're not just slightly less happy. They're actively feeling awful. They're showing signs of extreme sadness, contempt, anger. It's not just slightly less happy. It's actively negative. Wow. If you think about what I just said, it sort of makes sense, right? Because the silver medalist isn't thinking, I'm objectively the second best in the world.

I objectively beat the other 7 billion people in whatever my sport is. They're just thinking about one reference point that makes them feel awful. The gold. They were almost there and they didn't get it. So they feel like a loser. But what's striking is if you look at the bronze medalist, you see something completely different because their reference point isn't the gold. Right.

I objectively beat the other 7 billion people in whatever my sport is. They're just thinking about one reference point that makes them feel awful. The gold. They were almost there and they didn't get it. So they feel like a loser. But what's striking is if you look at the bronze medalist, you see something completely different because their reference point isn't the gold. Right.

I objectively beat the other 7 billion people in whatever my sport is. They're just thinking about one reference point that makes them feel awful. The gold. They were almost there and they didn't get it. So they feel like a loser. But what's striking is if you look at the bronze medalist, you see something completely different because their reference point isn't the gold. Right.

Like they were, I don't know, like, you know, 30 seconds off or they like lost two matches or something. Their reference point is like, if I just messed up a little bit more, I would go home completely empty handed. Right. Like I wouldn't even be on the stand at all. Right. Right. And so they're showing signs of true ecstasy.

Like they were, I don't know, like, you know, 30 seconds off or they like lost two matches or something. Their reference point is like, if I just messed up a little bit more, I would go home completely empty handed. Right. Like I wouldn't even be on the stand at all. Right. Right. And so they're showing signs of true ecstasy.

Like they were, I don't know, like, you know, 30 seconds off or they like lost two matches or something. Their reference point is like, if I just messed up a little bit more, I would go home completely empty handed. Right. Like I wouldn't even be on the stand at all. Right. Right. And so they're showing signs of true ecstasy.

In some cases, they're showing expressions that are even happier than the gold medalist because their reference point is like, phew, look how lucky I am. I almost totally screwed up.

In some cases, they're showing expressions that are even happier than the gold medalist because their reference point is like, phew, look how lucky I am. I almost totally screwed up.

In some cases, they're showing expressions that are even happier than the gold medalist because their reference point is like, phew, look how lucky I am. I almost totally screwed up.

And I love this metaphor because, you know, it shows us that it doesn't matter what's going on objectively. It matters who we're comparing ourself against. And that means sometimes we can be an objectively a really good spot, but feel kind of awful about it.

And I love this metaphor because, you know, it shows us that it doesn't matter what's going on objectively. It matters who we're comparing ourself against. And that means sometimes we can be an objectively a really good spot, but feel kind of awful about it.

And I love this metaphor because, you know, it shows us that it doesn't matter what's going on objectively. It matters who we're comparing ourself against. And that means sometimes we can be an objectively a really good spot, but feel kind of awful about it.

So, you know, we could think about the chemicals were dealt in a couple of ways. Often we think about it in terms of, you know, our kind of genetic lottery. Right. You know, are you naturally a happy person? Are you naturally a kind of down in the dumps person? And just like circumstances, what we find is that there is a genetic component to happiness.