Dr. Marc Brackett

We're born to be fixers, I think, especially in my role as a teacher or if you're a parent with a kid or a teacher, partners, right? And so I go to visit this school where my program is. It's called Ruler also. And we're in about 5,000 schools now across the United States. And I'm visiting this school, kindergarten,

And I do this check-in, and the little boy says he's in the blue, which means unpleasant, low in energy. And, of course, my little five-year-old, he's in the blue. I feel terrible. And then my fixer, like, I want to fix this kid. I don't want this kid to be in the blue. And so I know I can't do that because it's like the rules of ruler. You don't fix people's feelings.

And I do this check-in, and the little boy says he's in the blue, which means unpleasant, low in energy. And, of course, my little five-year-old, he's in the blue. I feel terrible. And then my fixer, like, I want to fix this kid. I don't want this kid to be in the blue. And so I know I can't do that because it's like the rules of ruler. You don't fix people's feelings.

And I do this check-in, and the little boy says he's in the blue, which means unpleasant, low in energy. And, of course, my little five-year-old, he's in the blue. I feel terrible. And then my fixer, like, I want to fix this kid. I don't want this kid to be in the blue. And so I know I can't do that because it's like the rules of ruler. You don't fix people's feelings.

You don't fix people's feelings. So I just said to the boy, I'm just curious, you know. Do you need a strategy? And he goes, no. And I'm like, no. I said, I'm just curious, you know, why don't you need a strategy? He goes, because I know it's impermanent.

You don't fix people's feelings. So I just said to the boy, I'm just curious, you know. Do you need a strategy? And he goes, no. And I'm like, no. I said, I'm just curious, you know, why don't you need a strategy? He goes, because I know it's impermanent.

You don't fix people's feelings. So I just said to the boy, I'm just curious, you know. Do you need a strategy? And he goes, no. And I'm like, no. I said, I'm just curious, you know, why don't you need a strategy? He goes, because I know it's impermanent.

If they are, if they get direct instruction. That's my vision for the world is that everyone gets an emotion education. And the boy says, no, you know, I know it's going to go away. I'm fine. I'm like, okay. I'm just bad at this kid. Like, you're my teacher. You know, it was amazing.

If they are, if they get direct instruction. That's my vision for the world is that everyone gets an emotion education. And the boy says, no, you know, I know it's going to go away. I'm fine. I'm like, okay. I'm just bad at this kid. Like, you're my teacher. You know, it was amazing.

If they are, if they get direct instruction. That's my vision for the world is that everyone gets an emotion education. And the boy says, no, you know, I know it's going to go away. I'm fine. I'm like, okay. I'm just bad at this kid. Like, you're my teacher. You know, it was amazing.

And to think that that five-year-old had that insight, that he had an unpleasant feeling that didn't need to be fixed, that it was okay, that he just knew he was in a little funk, but he has already experienced that emotions are ephemeral, you know, and he can just let it go and he'll be in the green a little later or the red or whatever else. It was really kind of mind-blowing.

And to think that that five-year-old had that insight, that he had an unpleasant feeling that didn't need to be fixed, that it was okay, that he just knew he was in a little funk, but he has already experienced that emotions are ephemeral, you know, and he can just let it go and he'll be in the green a little later or the red or whatever else. It was really kind of mind-blowing.

And to think that that five-year-old had that insight, that he had an unpleasant feeling that didn't need to be fixed, that it was okay, that he just knew he was in a little funk, but he has already experienced that emotions are ephemeral, you know, and he can just let it go and he'll be in the green a little later or the red or whatever else. It was really kind of mind-blowing.

It tends to grow. There are cultural differences, just to be frank. But in, you know, Western culture, suppression tends not to have great outcomes. Finding ways to reappraise tends to be more helpful and This really gets into, though, for me, the core of my work because, you know, for 20 years of my life, I was running a center for emotional intelligence and teaching skills.

It tends to grow. There are cultural differences, just to be frank. But in, you know, Western culture, suppression tends not to have great outcomes. Finding ways to reappraise tends to be more helpful and This really gets into, though, for me, the core of my work because, you know, for 20 years of my life, I was running a center for emotional intelligence and teaching skills.

It tends to grow. There are cultural differences, just to be frank. But in, you know, Western culture, suppression tends not to have great outcomes. Finding ways to reappraise tends to be more helpful and This really gets into, though, for me, the core of my work because, you know, for 20 years of my life, I was running a center for emotional intelligence and teaching skills.

And I would go around and I would see a lot of resistance, a lot of resistance, whether it was, you know, the hedge fund manager or the superintendent of schools or a parent. I've had fathers come up to me, say things like, Mark, you're so vulnerable. You shared your whole story about being bullied. I would never in my wildest dream ever share with my own son that I was bullied as a kid.

And I would go around and I would see a lot of resistance, a lot of resistance, whether it was, you know, the hedge fund manager or the superintendent of schools or a parent. I've had fathers come up to me, say things like, Mark, you're so vulnerable. You shared your whole story about being bullied. I would never in my wildest dream ever share with my own son that I was bullied as a kid.

And I would go around and I would see a lot of resistance, a lot of resistance, whether it was, you know, the hedge fund manager or the superintendent of schools or a parent. I've had fathers come up to me, say things like, Mark, you're so vulnerable. You shared your whole story about being bullied. I would never in my wildest dream ever share with my own son that I was bullied as a kid.

And I'm like, tell me more, of course. I'm a psychologist. And in the end, the guy was afraid that his son would think he was weak. And so we have a mindset about feelings that we have to talk about. People have feelings about their feelings. Sometimes we call those meta-emotions or meta-feelings. Sometimes it's just that happy is good, anger is bad. It's that simple.