Dr. Martha Beck

Mel and I, we're here. We got you. There is a community of love. It's invisible, but if you feel it with your senses and your heart, something will start to shift because we've got you and it's going to be okay.

Oh, yeah. Well, the story I just told you, I felt completely and totally stuck. I mean, my advisors at Harvard, even the doctors told me I was throwing my life away by keeping my son. And I'm very pro-choice, by the way, but he was diagnosed like a week before my sixth month. I had already really bonded to him. So I felt stuck then. And here's the thing.

Oh, yeah. Well, the story I just told you, I felt completely and totally stuck. I mean, my advisors at Harvard, even the doctors told me I was throwing my life away by keeping my son. And I'm very pro-choice, by the way, but he was diagnosed like a week before my sixth month. I had already really bonded to him. So I felt stuck then. And here's the thing.

Oh, yeah. Well, the story I just told you, I felt completely and totally stuck. I mean, my advisors at Harvard, even the doctors told me I was throwing my life away by keeping my son. And I'm very pro-choice, by the way, but he was diagnosed like a week before my sixth month. I had already really bonded to him. So I felt stuck then. And here's the thing.

The release came from a surrender to what was, but then being caught by some force that is not something we really talk about in our culture. And over and over in my life when I've gotten stuck, when I was, you know, the daughter of one of Mormonism's most famous defendants, and then I'm dealing with memories of sexual abuse, and the whole religion is, you know, vested in keeping me quiet.

The release came from a surrender to what was, but then being caught by some force that is not something we really talk about in our culture. And over and over in my life when I've gotten stuck, when I was, you know, the daughter of one of Mormonism's most famous defendants, and then I'm dealing with memories of sexual abuse, and the whole religion is, you know, vested in keeping me quiet.

The release came from a surrender to what was, but then being caught by some force that is not something we really talk about in our culture. And over and over in my life when I've gotten stuck, when I was, you know, the daughter of one of Mormonism's most famous defendants, and then I'm dealing with memories of sexual abuse, and the whole religion is, you know, vested in keeping me quiet.

I felt very stuck then. And when my whole family and all the friends I'd had as a child sort of wrote me off, and I've never spoken to them again, I felt very stuck. But I've come to have a really delightful relationship with the feeling of being stuck. And now I even know the brain science behind it. When you have a really big need or desire and you're really feeling stuck, I call it an impasse.

I felt very stuck then. And when my whole family and all the friends I'd had as a child sort of wrote me off, and I've never spoken to them again, I felt very stuck. But I've come to have a really delightful relationship with the feeling of being stuck. And now I even know the brain science behind it. When you have a really big need or desire and you're really feeling stuck, I call it an impasse.

I felt very stuck then. And when my whole family and all the friends I'd had as a child sort of wrote me off, and I've never spoken to them again, I felt very stuck. But I've come to have a really delightful relationship with the feeling of being stuck. And now I even know the brain science behind it. When you have a really big need or desire and you're really feeling stuck, I call it an impasse.

This is when your brain, the feeling of just bumping up against it, that is the brain saying, I'm about to give you a big leap forward. I'm about to tell you things that will blow your mind. So be stuck. Get right down in the mud with it. Say, I hate this. I'm miserable. And then say, screw it.

This is when your brain, the feeling of just bumping up against it, that is the brain saying, I'm about to give you a big leap forward. I'm about to tell you things that will blow your mind. So be stuck. Get right down in the mud with it. Say, I hate this. I'm miserable. And then say, screw it.

This is when your brain, the feeling of just bumping up against it, that is the brain saying, I'm about to give you a big leap forward. I'm about to tell you things that will blow your mind. So be stuck. Get right down in the mud with it. Say, I hate this. I'm miserable. And then say, screw it.

and go for a walk or go for a ride in the car, or if you can't get out of your house, watch the birds outside your window. There is a part of your brain that will actually take the impasse, the stuckness. And you will come eventually to an idea you have never imagined before. And I compare it to the caterpillar cannot imagine being a butterfly, but that is its destiny.

and go for a walk or go for a ride in the car, or if you can't get out of your house, watch the birds outside your window. There is a part of your brain that will actually take the impasse, the stuckness. And you will come eventually to an idea you have never imagined before. And I compare it to the caterpillar cannot imagine being a butterfly, but that is its destiny.

and go for a walk or go for a ride in the car, or if you can't get out of your house, watch the birds outside your window. There is a part of your brain that will actually take the impasse, the stuckness. And you will come eventually to an idea you have never imagined before. And I compare it to the caterpillar cannot imagine being a butterfly, but that is its destiny.

Stuckness always means you're about to be transformed. So embrace it with both arms. Enjoy it. Lean in. You're going to love it.

Stuckness always means you're about to be transformed. So embrace it with both arms. Enjoy it. Lean in. You're going to love it.

Stuckness always means you're about to be transformed. So embrace it with both arms. Enjoy it. Lean in. You're going to love it.

So two things. You have two best friends that go with you everywhere. One is your body. The other is suffering. And these are your allies. And our culture really discounts both of them. We need to get a little wilder, as I say in my little online community called Wilder. And the way you get wilder is you sink into the body and you feel for suffering