Dr. Martha Beck

And the fact that that's how we're built to learn and there's joy in it, there's a kind of, it's an achievement. But nature's not saying wrong, right. You get an F, you get an A, you get higher levels. No, you get fire or you don't get fire. No judgment.

Well, to me, there's a three-step process, and there are three sections in the book. The first one, I use it with the acronym CAT, Calm, Art, and Transcendence. This is how it works. The first third of the book is just how to calm your brain. It's been taught to be anxious. It is biologically pre-programmed to be anxious.

Well, to me, there's a three-step process, and there are three sections in the book. The first one, I use it with the acronym CAT, Calm, Art, and Transcendence. This is how it works. The first third of the book is just how to calm your brain. It's been taught to be anxious. It is biologically pre-programmed to be anxious.

So to calm it down, most people will say, they'll come in and tell me, I want to fight my anxiety. I want to end it. I want to bring it down. I want it gone. Because they think it's a broken machine. But it's not a broken machine. It's a frightened animal. And if you came in and I said to you, okay, I want to end you. I want to bring you down. I'm going to fight you until you're gone.

So to calm it down, most people will say, they'll come in and tell me, I want to fight my anxiety. I want to end it. I want to bring it down. I want it gone. Because they think it's a broken machine. But it's not a broken machine. It's a frightened animal. And if you came in and I said to you, okay, I want to end you. I want to bring you down. I'm going to fight you until you're gone.

Would you be less afraid or more afraid? So they're attacking you. the part of themself that's anxious, and it makes it more anxious. And that's what we're taught to do. End it. Force it to calm down with chemicals.

Would you be less afraid or more afraid? So they're attacking you. the part of themself that's anxious, and it makes it more anxious. And that's what we're taught to do. End it. Force it to calm down with chemicals.

One of the most ghastly things that ever happened in psychiatry was that they used to literally take people who had inexorable anxiety and literally put a screwdriver through the eye socket and up into the brain and just mix it around. That's how mechanistic we are about our own minds. We can fix it with a screwdriver. That's a very left hemisphere way to think.

One of the most ghastly things that ever happened in psychiatry was that they used to literally take people who had inexorable anxiety and literally put a screwdriver through the eye socket and up into the brain and just mix it around. That's how mechanistic we are about our own minds. We can fix it with a screwdriver. That's a very left hemisphere way to think.

And it's literally attacking ourselves. But we're all born with the intrinsic knowledge of how to calm a frightened animal. So if you found a terrified puppy on your stoop one morning and you decided to try to help it, you would instinctively know how to do that. What would you do?

And it's literally attacking ourselves. But we're all born with the intrinsic knowledge of how to calm a frightened animal. So if you found a terrified puppy on your stoop one morning and you decided to try to help it, you would instinctively know how to do that. What would you do?

Yeah. And if it didn't, you'd give it space. You'd give it time. You'd sit there with it. Yeah. And just the way your energy just changed now, you'd get down, you'd begin to smile in a very sweet way. And I could feel the tolerance and the gentleness and the space that you would give this creature. Yeah. We've got to learn to be gentle to ourselves. We are taught to be violent to ourselves.

Yeah. And if it didn't, you'd give it space. You'd give it time. You'd sit there with it. Yeah. And just the way your energy just changed now, you'd get down, you'd begin to smile in a very sweet way. And I could feel the tolerance and the gentleness and the space that you would give this creature. Yeah. We've got to learn to be gentle to ourselves. We are taught to be violent to ourselves.

Biohack that. Make yourself eat this and do that. And instead, if we could just go to the anxious part, like say you're with your partner and she's acting weird and you're feeling anxious. Generally, what we do is we try to control the situation. What can I do? Can I make her happy? I'll bring her flowers. I'll do whatever, right? Have an argument.

Biohack that. Make yourself eat this and do that. And instead, if we could just go to the anxious part, like say you're with your partner and she's acting weird and you're feeling anxious. Generally, what we do is we try to control the situation. What can I do? Can I make her happy? I'll bring her flowers. I'll do whatever, right? Have an argument.

Instead of trying to control her, the best approach is go inside, find the part of yourself that's afraid. So if you're in that situation and she's nervous and you just start to observe your own anxiety, like, okay, what does that feel like? Who is that in there? Who's the anxious part of me? And just notice. I mean, try it right now if you don't mind. She's upset. She's tense.

Instead of trying to control her, the best approach is go inside, find the part of yourself that's afraid. So if you're in that situation and she's nervous and you just start to observe your own anxiety, like, okay, what does that feel like? Who is that in there? Who's the anxious part of me? And just notice. I mean, try it right now if you don't mind. She's upset. She's tense.

She's not telling you the problem. Notice the anxiety. Where is it in your body exactly?

She's not telling you the problem. Notice the anxiety. Where is it in your body exactly?

Okay, in your chest. So allow that and say to it, I'm going to give you space. I'm here. I'm going to be here with you. I know she's scaring you, but I've got you. It's okay. She's not going to hurt us. I can go in the other room with you if you need and sit with it and say, let me know, what are you feeling? Tell me everything.