Dr. Martha Beck

Yeah, and my siblings said things like, it's so much that she was depressed. It was kind of like depression is who she was. It was, I feel tremendous sadness for my mother, tremendous compassion and empathy to the point, I mean, heartbroken.

about the life she lived and the lives that many other women live sort of in crazy systems feeling they have no power um it just destroyed me to to feel how much pain she was in but uh yeah she didn't like me did you ever figure out why your parents were the way that they were outside of

about the life she lived and the lives that many other women live sort of in crazy systems feeling they have no power um it just destroyed me to to feel how much pain she was in but uh yeah she didn't like me did you ever figure out why your parents were the way that they were outside of

Oh yeah, tons of things. Like they were, my grandmother, my mother's mother, I think was a complete psychopath. She was pro-Nazi in World War II. What? Like who does that? She was Swedish and she just thought that was the right thing to do.

Oh yeah, tons of things. Like they were, my grandmother, my mother's mother, I think was a complete psychopath. She was pro-Nazi in World War II. What? Like who does that? She was Swedish and she just thought that was the right thing to do.

Oh, he was definitely abused by his mother.

Oh, he was definitely abused by his mother.

Yes, yes. And that was known. My mother had told me this before. Yeah, she would do horrible things. She would wound him and put bee venom on his genitals and be very sexual toward him. I mean, it was a mess. It was horrible.

Yes, yes. And that was known. My mother had told me this before. Yeah, she would do horrible things. She would wound him and put bee venom on his genitals and be very sexual toward him. I mean, it was a mess. It was horrible.

Oh, constantly.

Oh, constantly.

Yeah. Like it was a daily struggle not to.

Yeah. Like it was a daily struggle not to.

I would say about... well, 16, well, it started right around 13. But by the time I was 16, it was pretty constant. 17, 18, 19, it was all I could do to not commit suicide. And then it kind of It went to a level of, like, I can hang on during my 20s. But I think I was 32 the day I realized it was the first day I remembered that I hadn't wanted to kill myself. Yeah.

I would say about... well, 16, well, it started right around 13. But by the time I was 16, it was pretty constant. 17, 18, 19, it was all I could do to not commit suicide. And then it kind of It went to a level of, like, I can hang on during my 20s. But I think I was 32 the day I realized it was the first day I remembered that I hadn't wanted to kill myself. Yeah.

Because I was in tremendous amounts of physical and psychological pain.

Because I was in tremendous amounts of physical and psychological pain.

They were for me, yeah. They were very much psychogenic pain. You know, the body-mind interface is not – there's not much separation. And for me, one of the things I talked about in The Way of Integrity is that when we lie, our bodies get very weak. So like I could do a simple little hokey test with you where I could – oh, you want to do it? Of course. Okay. So stick your arm out and hold it up.

They were for me, yeah. They were very much psychogenic pain. You know, the body-mind interface is not – there's not much separation. And for me, one of the things I talked about in The Way of Integrity is that when we lie, our bodies get very weak. So like I could do a simple little hokey test with you where I could – oh, you want to do it? Of course. Okay. So stick your arm out and hold it up.

Don't let me push it down, okay? Okay.