Dr. Martha Beck

And the healing of trauma is the grieving process. So if you're grieving, I would sit with you and I would bring you, you know, warm drinks and put a blanket around you and I would cry with you and feel with you and love you. But that's not the same to me as psychological suffering, which is that anguished feeling of I just don't want to be here. This is bad.

No. He was gay and trying so hard not to be gay. And he was Mormon, so it was very convenient for me because I was in love with him, very much in love. And I think he really, really loved me, too. I know he did. We got married when I was 20. We were delivered by the same obstetrician, like we had a very similar life path.

No. He was gay and trying so hard not to be gay. And he was Mormon, so it was very convenient for me because I was in love with him, very much in love. And I think he really, really loved me, too. I know he did. We got married when I was 20. We were delivered by the same obstetrician, like we had a very similar life path.

And then we both went to Harvard, which was very unusual for people from our hometown. So we had so much in common and we were best friends and loved each other deeply. And he was trying desperately not to be gay. I wasn't conscious of being gay because I wasn't conscious of anything much. I was so disassociated because of sexual abuse that I just didn't know where I stood.

And then we both went to Harvard, which was very unusual for people from our hometown. So we had so much in common and we were best friends and loved each other deeply. And he was trying desperately not to be gay. I wasn't conscious of being gay because I wasn't conscious of anything much. I was so disassociated because of sexual abuse that I just didn't know where I stood.

He just made me feel safe. And I loved that. But then when we started questioning Mormonism and the sexual abuse came up and everything, I was just – and even before that, it was really obvious that I said – when I was pregnant with my son, I started having psychic experiences. I'm sorry. They just happened. I had to allow them. I was –

He just made me feel safe. And I loved that. But then when we started questioning Mormonism and the sexual abuse came up and everything, I was just – and even before that, it was really obvious that I said – when I was pregnant with my son, I started having psychic experiences. I'm sorry. They just happened. I had to allow them. I was –

getting my doctorate at Harvard, and now I was having psychic flashes. What do you do with that? You either throw it away, which means throwing away the evidence, the data, or you blow your mind open. And one of the things that happened was I started to be able to see what was happening with people I loved when I wasn't there, just in flashes, but very verifiable. I could call them and do it.

getting my doctorate at Harvard, and now I was having psychic flashes. What do you do with that? You either throw it away, which means throwing away the evidence, the data, or you blow your mind open. And one of the things that happened was I started to be able to see what was happening with people I loved when I wasn't there, just in flashes, but very verifiable. I could call them and do it.

And when that would happen, my husband was traveling a lot and I just knew he was gay, and I knew that's what was right for him and that his joy was part of homosexuality. And he was still quite religious and wanted to be a good boy the way he'd been taught to be. And so I think he went through a lot of anguish. I know he did. We talked about it. And it wasn't until we both left the church that –

And when that would happen, my husband was traveling a lot and I just knew he was gay, and I knew that's what was right for him and that his joy was part of homosexuality. And he was still quite religious and wanted to be a good boy the way he'd been taught to be. And so I think he went through a lot of anguish. I know he did. We talked about it. And it wasn't until we both left the church that –

I said, you know, I'm gay. You're gay. Why don't we just be gay? And so he started dating men, and I fell in love with a woman, and I'm still with her. And eight years ago, as I said, you go into countercultural things when you follow your truth.

I said, you know, I'm gay. You're gay. Why don't we just be gay? And so he started dating men, and I fell in love with a woman, and I'm still with her. And eight years ago, as I said, you go into countercultural things when you follow your truth.

Another woman who was visiting us at the place where we were living, the three of us started hanging out, and we could not stop hanging out with each other. And it's very weird for three people to all fall in love with each other. But that's what happened eight years ago. And it was so – it's a good thing we were living out in the forest because the cultural pressures against that are huge.

Another woman who was visiting us at the place where we were living, the three of us started hanging out, and we could not stop hanging out with each other. And it's very weird for three people to all fall in love with each other. But that's what happened eight years ago. And it was so – it's a good thing we were living out in the forest because the cultural pressures against that are huge.

But we were living in a national forest. There were no people around. And it was just like, well, okay then. This feels awesome. And eight, nine years later, it still feels awesome.

But we were living in a national forest. There were no people around. And it was just like, well, okay then. This feels awesome. And eight, nine years later, it still feels awesome.

Do you know how embarrassing it is for me to sit and tell people, not only am I gay, but I have two partners.

Do you know how embarrassing it is for me to sit and tell people, not only am I gay, but I have two partners.

Yeah.