Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

So it stops maybe the cortisol or the adrenaline or something like that. But it comes with its own, I think, largely things like inflammation and things that enable the withdrawal. right? Probably shifting hormones. We know prolactin changes in grieving, oxytocin changes in grieving. But think about it this way.

So it stops maybe the cortisol or the adrenaline or something like that. But it comes with its own, I think, largely things like inflammation and things that enable the withdrawal. right? Probably shifting hormones. We know prolactin changes in grieving, oxytocin changes in grieving. But think about it this way.

So in a sort of evolutionary way, if your mate is gone or your caregiver is gone, that withdrawal allows you to save resources because you don't know where when they're coming back. And that's important for your survival, but a transition through, oh, eventually I'm going to have to get my own food. I am going to have to move again, but not in the frantic searching way.

So in a sort of evolutionary way, if your mate is gone or your caregiver is gone, that withdrawal allows you to save resources because you don't know where when they're coming back. And that's important for your survival, but a transition through, oh, eventually I'm going to have to get my own food. I am going to have to move again, but not in the frantic searching way.

So in a sort of evolutionary way, if your mate is gone or your caregiver is gone, that withdrawal allows you to save resources because you don't know where when they're coming back. And that's important for your survival, but a transition through, oh, eventually I'm going to have to get my own food. I am going to have to move again, but not in the frantic searching way.

I'm going to have to find meaningful activity to go on, right? So here is my theoretical reason why I believe we are set up to grieve. I know that you had attachment figures as a child because you survived to adulthood. Right? Proof. Proof that someone loved you. Now... children have caregivers as their primary attachment figures.

I'm going to have to find meaningful activity to go on, right? So here is my theoretical reason why I believe we are set up to grieve. I know that you had attachment figures as a child because you survived to adulthood. Right? Proof. Proof that someone loved you. Now... children have caregivers as their primary attachment figures.

I'm going to have to find meaningful activity to go on, right? So here is my theoretical reason why I believe we are set up to grieve. I know that you had attachment figures as a child because you survived to adulthood. Right? Proof. Proof that someone loved you. Now... children have caregivers as their primary attachment figures.

But now in your life, it is most likely that your primary attachment figure is a peer, like a spouse or boyfriend, girlfriend, etc., not your parent. So something had to change, right? And developmentally, we are prepared. We come into the world prepared with a neurobiological developmental program that at some point says, my parent is no longer the peak of my attachment hierarchy.

But now in your life, it is most likely that your primary attachment figure is a peer, like a spouse or boyfriend, girlfriend, etc., not your parent. So something had to change, right? And developmentally, we are prepared. We come into the world prepared with a neurobiological developmental program that at some point says, my parent is no longer the peak of my attachment hierarchy.

But now in your life, it is most likely that your primary attachment figure is a peer, like a spouse or boyfriend, girlfriend, etc., not your parent. So something had to change, right? And developmentally, we are prepared. We come into the world prepared with a neurobiological developmental program that at some point says, my parent is no longer the peak of my attachment hierarchy.

I'm looking around, I'm motivated to see friends, and I'm motivated to date, and I'm motivated to create these enduring relationships with people my own age. And that means that that our attachment hierarchy can shift, that we have the capacity in our neurobiology, in our hormones, to shift from a primary attachment to a parent to a primary attachment to someone else.

I'm looking around, I'm motivated to see friends, and I'm motivated to date, and I'm motivated to create these enduring relationships with people my own age. And that means that that our attachment hierarchy can shift, that we have the capacity in our neurobiology, in our hormones, to shift from a primary attachment to a parent to a primary attachment to someone else.

I'm looking around, I'm motivated to see friends, and I'm motivated to date, and I'm motivated to create these enduring relationships with people my own age. And that means that that our attachment hierarchy can shift, that we have the capacity in our neurobiology, in our hormones, to shift from a primary attachment to a parent to a primary attachment to someone else.

And the capacity to do that... is innate. Now, I will say, of course, we are all programmed to do this at roughly the same period of our life. Parents know coming into the bargain that this is going to happen, although parents experience a lot of grief during the empty nest when it is actually occurring. When a loved one dies in, you know, a dear friend, 50 years old, her husband dies of a

And the capacity to do that... is innate. Now, I will say, of course, we are all programmed to do this at roughly the same period of our life. Parents know coming into the bargain that this is going to happen, although parents experience a lot of grief during the empty nest when it is actually occurring. When a loved one dies in, you know, a dear friend, 50 years old, her husband dies of a

And the capacity to do that... is innate. Now, I will say, of course, we are all programmed to do this at roughly the same period of our life. Parents know coming into the bargain that this is going to happen, although parents experience a lot of grief during the empty nest when it is actually occurring. When a loved one dies in, you know, a dear friend, 50 years old, her husband dies of a

there's not a whole cohort of you going through this experience together of transitioning to a different attachment hierarchy, right? And we set up whole cultures around sending kids to college or sending them on a mission or sending them through basic training as a way to get this whole cohort, you know, of young people through this transitional period. What we need is

there's not a whole cohort of you going through this experience together of transitioning to a different attachment hierarchy, right? And we set up whole cultures around sending kids to college or sending them on a mission or sending them through basic training as a way to get this whole cohort, you know, of young people through this transitional period. What we need is

there's not a whole cohort of you going through this experience together of transitioning to a different attachment hierarchy, right? And we set up whole cultures around sending kids to college or sending them on a mission or sending them through basic training as a way to get this whole cohort, you know, of young people through this transitional period. What we need is