Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

where everything in your body is in protest, you are amped up and you can't sit still, then working with your body, right, maybe you are the person who needs to go for a run every day where that hasn't really been who you were before, right? On the other hand,

Maybe you're the person who needs to develop a yoga practice to figure out how to breathe through that amped up feeling and soothe yourself physically, soothe yourself so that you can bring your heart rate down, right? So those are two entirely different behaviors. But I can tell you at the end of either of them, your body's going to be in a different state.

Maybe you're the person who needs to develop a yoga practice to figure out how to breathe through that amped up feeling and soothe yourself physically, soothe yourself so that you can bring your heart rate down, right? So those are two entirely different behaviors. But I can tell you at the end of either of them, your body's going to be in a different state.

Maybe you're the person who needs to develop a yoga practice to figure out how to breathe through that amped up feeling and soothe yourself physically, soothe yourself so that you can bring your heart rate down, right? So those are two entirely different behaviors. But I can tell you at the end of either of them, your body's going to be in a different state.

And I bet your emotions are in a different state too, right? So there's one way to think about it, which is coming at how do we handle the emotions? But there's another way to come at it, which is how do I handle all of the demands and resources I have when demands and resources get out of balance, that stress? So how do I increase the resources in my life? How do I reduce the demands in my life?

And I bet your emotions are in a different state too, right? So there's one way to think about it, which is coming at how do we handle the emotions? But there's another way to come at it, which is how do I handle all of the demands and resources I have when demands and resources get out of balance, that stress? So how do I increase the resources in my life? How do I reduce the demands in my life?

And I bet your emotions are in a different state too, right? So there's one way to think about it, which is coming at how do we handle the emotions? But there's another way to come at it, which is how do I handle all of the demands and resources I have when demands and resources get out of balance, that stress? So how do I increase the resources in my life? How do I reduce the demands in my life?

Because I am suddenly in a really difficult situation. So that's one way to think about it. We did an intervention study in my lab with widows and widowers where one arm received mindfulness training, another arm received progressive muscle relaxation, which is sort of like learning a really fancy body scan.

Because I am suddenly in a really difficult situation. So that's one way to think about it. We did an intervention study in my lab with widows and widowers where one arm received mindfulness training, another arm received progressive muscle relaxation, which is sort of like learning a really fancy body scan.

Because I am suddenly in a really difficult situation. So that's one way to think about it. We did an intervention study in my lab with widows and widowers where one arm received mindfulness training, another arm received progressive muscle relaxation, which is sort of like learning a really fancy body scan.

You contract and relax different muscle groups in your body, and you become aware of what that feels like to really understand what relaxation feels like. And then there was a weightless control group. And we did it because the progressive muscle relaxation was the control group. We thought mindfulness training would be very helpful. Turns out mindfulness training was helpful.

You contract and relax different muscle groups in your body, and you become aware of what that feels like to really understand what relaxation feels like. And then there was a weightless control group. And we did it because the progressive muscle relaxation was the control group. We thought mindfulness training would be very helpful. Turns out mindfulness training was helpful.

You contract and relax different muscle groups in your body, and you become aware of what that feels like to really understand what relaxation feels like. And then there was a weightless control group. And we did it because the progressive muscle relaxation was the control group. We thought mindfulness training would be very helpful. Turns out mindfulness training was helpful.

But progressive muscle relaxation was even more helpful for people's grief.

But progressive muscle relaxation was even more helpful for people's grief.

But progressive muscle relaxation was even more helpful for people's grief.

It's a brief contraction. It's, you know, you can go online. There's really easy instructions. It's often done with a sort of guided audio to help you figure out. But the important part is also feeling what's the difference between my clenched fist and my relaxed fist. Oh, gosh, I didn't even realize I had so much muscle tension, right?

It's a brief contraction. It's, you know, you can go online. There's really easy instructions. It's often done with a sort of guided audio to help you figure out. But the important part is also feeling what's the difference between my clenched fist and my relaxed fist. Oh, gosh, I didn't even realize I had so much muscle tension, right?

It's a brief contraction. It's, you know, you can go online. There's really easy instructions. It's often done with a sort of guided audio to help you figure out. But the important part is also feeling what's the difference between my clenched fist and my relaxed fist. Oh, gosh, I didn't even realize I had so much muscle tension, right?

So what's fascinating is people told us in any situation – I'm in the grocery store, I'm in a work meeting, I'm trying to fall asleep – I can use this tool now to help my body to get into a different state. And that helps my grief. Now, mindfulness training was effective, but not as effective as I said. And I think some of this is that we have, you know, grieving is a form of learning.