Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

And the problem is that when we are going round and round and round in our head about these things that cannot be true, we're not in the present moment, right? We're in some other internal world. And that means that, you know, if your grandchild is telling you this hilarious story about you're not really paying attention because you're in this other world in your head.

And the problem is that when we are going round and round and round in our head about these things that cannot be true, we're not in the present moment, right? We're in some other internal world. And that means that, you know, if your grandchild is telling you this hilarious story about you're not really paying attention because you're in this other world in your head.

And so you don't get to have all the joy in life that comes from being in that moment with your grandchild. And so we miss out by being stuck in this other guilt-ridden, infinite possible, terrible world. The question is then, we have to come to understand these are thoughts that how do I deal with the thoughts?

And so you don't get to have all the joy in life that comes from being in that moment with your grandchild. And so we miss out by being stuck in this other guilt-ridden, infinite possible, terrible world. The question is then, we have to come to understand these are thoughts that how do I deal with the thoughts?

And so you don't get to have all the joy in life that comes from being in that moment with your grandchild. And so we miss out by being stuck in this other guilt-ridden, infinite possible, terrible world. The question is then, we have to come to understand these are thoughts that how do I deal with the thoughts?

Not what is the answer to the thoughts, but how do I deal with the fact that I am having these repetitive thoughts? And we can learn a lot of skills around how to cope with our thoughts. For me, one of the things I had to learn was I need to shift my environment. If I realize, oh, I'm doing the rumination thing again, literally, I just need to get up and walk outside. right?

Not what is the answer to the thoughts, but how do I deal with the fact that I am having these repetitive thoughts? And we can learn a lot of skills around how to cope with our thoughts. For me, one of the things I had to learn was I need to shift my environment. If I realize, oh, I'm doing the rumination thing again, literally, I just need to get up and walk outside. right?

Not what is the answer to the thoughts, but how do I deal with the fact that I am having these repetitive thoughts? And we can learn a lot of skills around how to cope with our thoughts. For me, one of the things I had to learn was I need to shift my environment. If I realize, oh, I'm doing the rumination thing again, literally, I just need to get up and walk outside. right?

Just that shift alone can help to change my thought patterns. So there's lots of skills we can learn. But this is really the question. It isn't, is this scenario true? It's, is this thought helpful in my ongoing life? And so I think that the solution that your friend came to around maybe they needed that

Just that shift alone can help to change my thought patterns. So there's lots of skills we can learn. But this is really the question. It isn't, is this scenario true? It's, is this thought helpful in my ongoing life? And so I think that the solution that your friend came to around maybe they needed that

Just that shift alone can help to change my thought patterns. So there's lots of skills we can learn. But this is really the question. It isn't, is this scenario true? It's, is this thought helpful in my ongoing life? And so I think that the solution that your friend came to around maybe they needed that

We often have to find the story that may be true, it may not be true, but that quells the thoughts. It has to feel true to us. So there's no point in debating the truthiness of it. But it is the thing that allows us to move past the repetitive thoughts and back into the present moment.

We often have to find the story that may be true, it may not be true, but that quells the thoughts. It has to feel true to us. So there's no point in debating the truthiness of it. But it is the thing that allows us to move past the repetitive thoughts and back into the present moment.

We often have to find the story that may be true, it may not be true, but that quells the thoughts. It has to feel true to us. So there's no point in debating the truthiness of it. But it is the thing that allows us to move past the repetitive thoughts and back into the present moment.

They are very much increasing. I can tell you, you know, I've taught psychology of death and loss since 1999. And when we talked about suicide in the class, I used to ask the students, do any of you know someone who died by suicide? And I'd get a few hands. And I will tell you, Andrew, a third of the class raises their hand now.

They are very much increasing. I can tell you, you know, I've taught psychology of death and loss since 1999. And when we talked about suicide in the class, I used to ask the students, do any of you know someone who died by suicide? And I'd get a few hands. And I will tell you, Andrew, a third of the class raises their hand now.

They are very much increasing. I can tell you, you know, I've taught psychology of death and loss since 1999. And when we talked about suicide in the class, I used to ask the students, do any of you know someone who died by suicide? And I'd get a few hands. And I will tell you, Andrew, a third of the class raises their hand now.

And these are 20-year-olds who often had a friend in high school or a grandparent or an uncle. And so we have to talk about the epidemic itself, but we also have to talk about how do we cope with those losses.

And these are 20-year-olds who often had a friend in high school or a grandparent or an uncle. And so we have to talk about the epidemic itself, but we also have to talk about how do we cope with those losses.

And these are 20-year-olds who often had a friend in high school or a grandparent or an uncle. And so we have to talk about the epidemic itself, but we also have to talk about how do we cope with those losses.