Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

I have a lot of empathy for that because that is just the natural reaction. You don't get to pick. You do get to pick a little bit over time how you cope with it, how you adapt to it. But it gives me a lot of empathy for people who are listening right now who are in infinite grief, even though it won't be infinite like it is today.

I have a lot of empathy for that because that is just the natural reaction. You don't get to pick. You do get to pick a little bit over time how you cope with it, how you adapt to it. But it gives me a lot of empathy for people who are listening right now who are in infinite grief, even though it won't be infinite like it is today.

Under a blanket.

Under a blanket.

Under a blanket.

I would say it does. And it is okay. There is no way to optimize your grieving. It is, you know, when people say, I say this jokingly, but, you know, I say to people sometimes, well, when did you get over your wedding day? Because that's not a question that makes any sense. Right. That's like saying, when did you get over your loss, right?

I would say it does. And it is okay. There is no way to optimize your grieving. It is, you know, when people say, I say this jokingly, but, you know, I say to people sometimes, well, when did you get over your wedding day? Because that's not a question that makes any sense. Right. That's like saying, when did you get over your loss, right?

I would say it does. And it is okay. There is no way to optimize your grieving. It is, you know, when people say, I say this jokingly, but, you know, I say to people sometimes, well, when did you get over your wedding day? Because that's not a question that makes any sense. Right. That's like saying, when did you get over your loss, right?

So I think it's funny that you've really picked up on this. We talk about in the literature on grief and grieving that this idea of oscillation, that mental health is really about oscillation. We call it the dual process model of bereavement. And the idea is that when people can have the loss, feelings, thoughts, behaviors,

So I think it's funny that you've really picked up on this. We talk about in the literature on grief and grieving that this idea of oscillation, that mental health is really about oscillation. We call it the dual process model of bereavement. And the idea is that when people can have the loss, feelings, thoughts, behaviors,

So I think it's funny that you've really picked up on this. We talk about in the literature on grief and grieving that this idea of oscillation, that mental health is really about oscillation. We call it the dual process model of bereavement. And the idea is that when people can have the loss, feelings, thoughts, behaviors,

Barely can make cereal and also can have the restoration stressors they have to deal with. And I don't mean this is a good thing. I mean, this is like, wait, I have to do the taxes and I've never done the taxes, but I got to figure it out because apparently life goes on. So it is stressful. But the capacity to oscillate back and forth between

Barely can make cereal and also can have the restoration stressors they have to deal with. And I don't mean this is a good thing. I mean, this is like, wait, I have to do the taxes and I've never done the taxes, but I got to figure it out because apparently life goes on. So it is stressful. But the capacity to oscillate back and forth between

Barely can make cereal and also can have the restoration stressors they have to deal with. And I don't mean this is a good thing. I mean, this is like, wait, I have to do the taxes and I've never done the taxes, but I got to figure it out because apparently life goes on. So it is stressful. But the capacity to oscillate back and forth between

Dealing with the loss of this loved person and restoring a meaningful life, being able to go back and forth is actually the sign of health. And I will give you an example that has always stuck with me. I think knowing that people, they cry a lot when they're grieving. And it is... hard to see until you get familiar with the idea that, nope, this is just what it is, right?

Dealing with the loss of this loved person and restoring a meaningful life, being able to go back and forth is actually the sign of health. And I will give you an example that has always stuck with me. I think knowing that people, they cry a lot when they're grieving. And it is... hard to see until you get familiar with the idea that, nope, this is just what it is, right?

Dealing with the loss of this loved person and restoring a meaningful life, being able to go back and forth is actually the sign of health. And I will give you an example that has always stuck with me. I think knowing that people, they cry a lot when they're grieving. And it is... hard to see until you get familiar with the idea that, nope, this is just what it is, right?

And this older man that was in one of my research studies when I was at UCLA, I often will ask people, how did your loved one die at the beginning of a clinical interview? And I let them start wherever they interpret that as broadly as they want to. And

And this older man that was in one of my research studies when I was at UCLA, I often will ask people, how did your loved one die at the beginning of a clinical interview? And I let them start wherever they interpret that as broadly as they want to. And

And this older man that was in one of my research studies when I was at UCLA, I often will ask people, how did your loved one die at the beginning of a clinical interview? And I let them start wherever they interpret that as broadly as they want to. And